THow I wish I could

The word goodbye has a lot of meaning, in different context. It can be a goodbye for an ending or a goodbye for a start of a new beginning. It’s not always that goodbye is for the betterment. Most goodbyes are full of tears and melancholic emotions.
Most farewells are made in a wake, burial of someone very important. I never experience something like this. I never wish for it to hand, but they say there must be someone to say goodbye first. What I mean is losing someone because of death.
My grandmother is an 82 yr old intelligent, wise, talkative woman. She has many stories to tell never-ending stories from her childhood. Because of her age, her memory loss she sometimes forgets that she once tell the same story.
There is nothing much better when she laughs, Laughing at the same stories. However, it is quite sad to think that she has lesser days to live as days pass by. Meaning everyday lessens the day that I could hear her funny old stories.
Sometimes I just stare at her and tell her that she is beautiful despite of her rough saggy skin. This makes her laugh and tell me that I’m just flattering her and she is aware of her condition. That she is old and maybe eventually she will leave us.
Getting old is one thing I’m afraid of, I told her but she said there is nothing better than seeing young grandsons and granddaughters roaming around, Happy seeing her kids successful.
Every year we celebrate her birthday. It serves as our reunion. All her daughters and sons are present with their families. It is a tradition and for me the happiest day of the year. My Mom together with her brothers will sing and dance and my grand mom will just watch them.
I wonder what if she passed away. Would it still be have a day like this? Everyone would be lonely because she is one of the great women in the world not because she is beautiful, glamorous, and funny but because she is the root of us.
If there would be a person that I can’t say goodbye maybe, that would be my granny. She bonds us. But life is very short. Expect the worst. I hope everything will be the same after her vital. As Morrie Schatz said death does not break a relationship.
Yet, its very hard to say goodbye to the person you love the most. How I wish I could.

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