HOW I WISH I COULD

THow I wish I could

The word goodbye has a lot of meaning, in different context. It can be a goodbye for an ending or a goodbye for a start of a new beginning. It’s not always that goodbye is for the betterment. Most goodbyes are full of tears and melancholic emotions.
Most farewells are made in a wake, burial of someone very important. I never experience something like this. I never wish for it to hand, but they say there must be someone to say goodbye first. What I mean is losing someone because of death.
My grandmother is an 82 yr old intelligent, wise, talkative woman. She has many stories to tell never-ending stories from her childhood. Because of her age, her memory loss she sometimes forgets that she once tell the same story.
There is nothing much better when she laughs, Laughing at the same stories. However, it is quite sad to think that she has lesser days to live as days pass by. Meaning everyday lessens the day that I could hear her funny old stories.
Sometimes I just stare at her and tell her that she is beautiful despite of her rough saggy skin. This makes her laugh and tell me that I’m just flattering her and she is aware of her condition. That she is old and maybe eventually she will leave us.
Getting old is one thing I’m afraid of, I told her but she said there is nothing better than seeing young grandsons and granddaughters roaming around, Happy seeing her kids successful.
Every year we celebrate her birthday. It serves as our reunion. All her daughters and sons are present with their families. It is a tradition and for me the happiest day of the year. My Mom together with her brothers will sing and dance and my grand mom will just watch them.
I wonder what if she passed away. Would it still be have a day like this? Everyone would be lonely because she is one of the great women in the world not because she is beautiful, glamorous, and funny but because she is the root of us.
If there would be a person that I can’t say goodbye maybe, that would be my granny. She bonds us. But life is very short. Expect the worst. I hope everything will be the same after her vital. As Morrie Schatz said death does not break a relationship.
Yet, its very hard to say goodbye to the person you love the most. How I wish I could.

NO CHANCE

This is a story a about a girl and a boy who cannot be named.

One day, there is a girl and a boy who cannot be named.

The girl is a busy person who’s life revolves mostly in studies and family. She truly lives her motto on life that ‘Love can wait.’ Above all things, she prioritizes what she knows should be and she seems to find satisfaction on the way she is taking life; slowly but surely plus no distraction.

The boy is a very unexpressive type of guy. He is always having a hard time showing what he feels especially to the one he loves. As musch as he wants to say the word to make them feel that he cares, he always ending  up tongue-tied. And so his friends labeled him as the ‘cold torpe.‘

Maybe you already know what will happen next. I know that after recognizing the girl and the boy, you already come out with a finished story in your mind. But sorry to burst your bubbles, this is not a kind of story what you think it will be.

They both know each other, only in a shallow manner. She knows he exists and vice versa. They are not actually close to each other. They aren’t even classmates that’s why they don’t bother saying ‘hi’ when passing on the schools’ corridor.

She's the busy one.

The boy knew her as her name and photos would appear in their campus paper, not just because she is the editor-in-chief but also because of the never-ending contests she is joining; from academic to practical competition undertaken inside the school up to the national level. he knew this girl. But only just by name and face.

The girl on the other hand, rarely knew about him. She once heard about him when he played badminton in their intramurals for she needed then to write a news about it. And that was it. She never dares to know more about him.

But life works in such an unfamiliar instance. It will caught you off-guard. One thing you know is you’re just looking for a way out to an abbyss you don’t know when and how you are even there.

One cold night, as the hush of the air is audible and the perfectly circle-shaped moon illuminates the world, there they have their prom. Partners are randomly selected during the practice and so they already have fixed partners to dance with. But just like our politicians, the participants turn so unruly. There are some who came late and so the fixed partners-rule is not followed on that night.

And he's the aloof one.

The girl is one of those late comers. That’s why she looks so horrible when she found out that her supposed partner is already dancing with another girl.

She feels a bit of embarrasment when she saw that others are already in the quadrangle with their partners, while she is left alone there and it is as if no guy would want to save her from burying on the imaginary quagmire laid on her feet.

Then the boy approaches her.

With the same fate on that night, and maybe out of desperation and to just let everything be finished, the boy asks her to be his partner, without caring about the possible rejection that may ensue.

The girl winks twice then smile. She realizes that there still someone who wants to save her.

And so the girl and the boy finally arrive on the expected part of the story: they meet each other not just by name but this time by heart.

From that day on, they started building a good relationship. The boy tries his best to communcate with her. He is so convince that she is the one who will help him go out of his box and break that ‘cold torpe‘ labeled on him.

THE WORST GOODBYE. The person you can't say goodbye is the one who you don't even have the chance to say to.

The girl likes his company but it never cross in her mind at all that she will go beyond the boundary, boundary she actually sets. She likes the boy but she isn’t ready for anything else. She wants to focus on her plans and again–not be distracted.

The boy, jilt-busted as he seems, feels that. And the girl is likewise so guilty about it specially when he started being aloof to her up until their graduation day. He severs their ties, never talks to her and let her what she wants to be with her life. And the girl feels so selfish.

During their graduation day, she tries to look at him in the crowd, hoping to dedicate his speech for him and just so she can express her sorry. After the congratulations and all, her eyes seek him. But she fails to find him. She asks his classmates and then she found out that he immediately went home after the ceremony. She never seems to find a way to even say goodbye to him.

The boy disappeared for quite a while. She never heard anything from him until then. They go back to their same picture they use to have.

After a decade, the boy sent a letter to the girl, telling her his present address and invited her to be his guest. The girl is so excited that she left her work and immediately go to see him.

She never realizes that the letter is late sent to  her and that it was written a week ago. He isn’t there on the given address. She asks the neighbors and she felt like falling from the ground when she learned about his situation. He is ill and on his last day he is wishing to see the girl that she is waiting for his lifetime. She is told by the neighbors that he was murmuring a girl’s name before he gone.

In a staggering moment, she runs and goes to his place. She unconciously weeps like a child as she touches his name engraved on a tomb, on front of his seemingly bed and thinking over and over how she will say goodbye to a person she never had a chance to say goodbye to.

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One does not simply say goodbye to memories

 

 

BOOKWORM GODDESS

For privacy purposes, let’s just call her Bookworn Goddess.

She wasn’t really that beautiful. She wore glasses, she was small, the heck, she wasn’t even sexy! But then again, I’m not really the type of person who would fall for just good looks alone. It has always been my personal belief that sexy women are just fun to ogle at but not really fun to be a girlfriend.

WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER: We share the same passion for books. We would talk hours and hours about our favorite books. I usually borrow a lot of her books before. We also share the same passion for writing.  She is very funny. Funny in a way that only I can understand. We had several long conversations together and it was something that I really enjoyed about her.

HOW I CONFESSED MY LOVE: love letter. To be honest, it was the most disgusting thing that I have ever written in my entire life. It was in 2^nd year that I confessed my love to her. I actually forgot the stuff that I wrote there. Probably a string of disgusting cheesy lines that I am so happy to forget.

HOW SHE REPLIED TO MY CONFESSION: In response to my disgusting love letter, she stopped talking to me and then she got into several relationships with other blokes from other sections. Boys with pea-brains, savage cavemen who have never held a book in their entire lives. It’s actually funny to watch how she struggled to teach one her boyfriends to read Neil Gaiman novels, an author whose writing style is too complicated for an idiot like that guy.

HOW IT ENDED: Well, we grew up, we parted our own ways, and just minded our own business, I guess. But until now, I’m still hurt about what happened. Although, I’m a little bit happy that her relationship never went well, a tinge of guilt still resides my heart. Somehow I hate myself because I didn’t use the right words and the proper medium to express my love to her. Maybe there were a lot of grammatical errors that’s why she got turned off.  I never know, and sometimes, I wish I knew.

EMO GIRL

For privacy purposes, let’s call this second one EmoGirl.

She was also my classmate in 3^rd year high school. I didn’t notice how much I love her because I was 3madly in love with Bookworm Goddess.  She was an emo. But not really the hardcore emo type with hardcore slashes on the wrists. She just loves to wear gothic make-up and black eye-liner. She also wrote poems about death, how fun it is and how life sucks and all those topics under the emo sun.

WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER: Well, we both like the same kind of music. She was my influence when it comes to my musical preferences. Dashboard Confessional, Panic! At the Disco, Ohio is For lovers, The Starting Line, Daft Punk, a lot of my musical heroes came from her. She’s the type of girl that you will enjoy talking to. You will never run out of topics when you’re with her. And she’s sweet. Even though she already has a boyfriend, she would still tell me that she loves me and I’m like awwwwwww, how sweet.

AWESOME MOMENTS WITH HER: the most memorable moments that I shared with her were those cute movie dates that we did. Actually we only did two movie dates. One was when Harry Potter 7 part 1 invaded the country and when Tron Legacy came out. For her, it was just a good time with a friend, but for me, I have experienced one of the best dates of my life. What I enjoyed most about these movie dates was that they weren’t as cheesy as what lovers would usually do. There’s no holding of hands while walking, no disgusting public display of affection, just plain and simple friendship. Probably because were friends not lovers. But even though we might turn out to be lovers, I doubt that we’ll do the common things that couples do to them. I know her and I know myself. If we became lovers, we’re never gonna be that sappy.

HOW I CONFESSED MY LOVE TO HER: I never confessed. I believe our relationship is perfect and she doesn’t really need to know that I love her. I regret not doing anything after she went to America and got in a relationship with other guys.

HOW OUR RELATIONSHIP ENDED: Thankfully, it never ended. I am in her Friendzone, which is more painful than just ending it. Even though she’s now in America and she has a boyfriend, were still friends. We constantly chat on Facebook. We still talk about stupid stuff. We also talk about her relationship. How she had sex with this guy, how she bakes her boyfriend some cookies. As if I’m not hurt and jealous.  Sometimes, we talk about how she broke up with this guy which sometimes makes me a little bit happy because at least I can say comforting words to her. Being in her friendzone list is quite a drag sometimes. But as the cliché goes, you do anything for the person you love.

 

 

Chance of meeting with the Person I cannot say goodbye.

Chance of meeting with the Person I cannot say goodbye.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over – my statement for mi amore.

 

 

Never in my wildest dreams have I thought to be in this place. I, who was ever proud of meeting beautiful people and win them over easily, became insecure of things to come. I feel like a puppy waiting for his master everyday. Suddenly, my schedule became whatever is my love’s schedule. I cannot plan my whole day because it might conflict with hers.

 

Thirteen months and counting, and I am still in this “love” trap. What does she possess that could just make me do things I never did to anyone? What language does she speak that could make me say yes to her requests? What watch does she have that could change mine anytime?

Let me share with you briefly the kind of person I know of her and how we met.

First the meeting – it was quite awkward and embarrassing because I felt like I lost my tongue the minute she said “hello”. “Errr”, “aaaah”, were just my words and some stupid answers to her questions. The next minutes were just a series of embarrassments and I thought I just lost her.

She came in the most unexpected moment and place, yet, the most perfect of all times. I think fate brought us together. If by just a minute I was not in that exact location, I would not have met the person who would make myself whole.

 
She, for me is the most – the one who understands me the most, the one who influenced and changed me the most, the one whom I love the most.

She is the reason for my ups and downs and gives balance of my life. I cannot lose her.

The Revelation II

Note:

The story that you will read includes details not suitable for naïve and primitive readers. This is too private and sizzling hot to handle so if you have a plan to reproduce or share it to others, who don’t belong to this class, forget my name and I’ll forget yours. Thanks!

Do you remember the time when I asked you an undaunted question about loving two different persons at the same time? I gravely defined one as your beloved partner in a relationship while the other was a special someone who had an exceptional place in your heart. Now, it isn’t the case in my peculiar shoes any longer, I already made a move which I think one of the fairest and unlamented decisions I ever made so far in my life. I’m self-assured to say that my heart vigorously beats to someone that I truly and whole-heartedly love; she is Miss Fashionista.

Miss Fashionista is definitely not her real name. She has a rare fair skin, a unique hair strands, a quite pointed nose, thin lips, dazzling eyes, slender body, has an unpredictable weirdness, and love to dress up with all kinds of garments. She has been my consistent schoolmate since first year college in the University of the East and has also been my classmate a year ago. She belongs to the graduating class of 2012, taking up a degree related to mine. She is a key member of a pioneering organization of the university where I myself was also a prime member. She has been my friend since then but supposedly became close friends just a month ago.

During our freshmen’s years, Miss Fashionista has been my secret crush. She has been the apple of my eye inside our classroom, along the College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) corridors, in the staircases of Batibot and etc. By just seeing her cheerful face and notable cute smile on a normal weekday, my worries are fading away and my body is starting to pump out. But what can I do? I want to express my feeling of likeness to her but I’m afraid of the words she’ll say in return. I’m just an innocent and arrogant young man who admires her but no guts to face her. I just think that it’s a test of persistence to what and when is the extent of my admiration to her. And so I decided to keep that feeling and have that as a secret.

Then the following year, I suddenly entered in a relationship where I found myself flat. I learned to love somebody more than a friend for the third time around. Yes! I am humble to say that I did love her with all my heart and strived to be happy with her for two years and five months. But like what other relationships have to write, ours marked period. We are now officially separated for your information. It’s exactly a month and five days since we decided to part ways. I decided to break her heart badly because I felt I’m fooling myself if we continue that stupid love. Subsequently, I came up with a decision to straightly walk forward, to face whom my heart beats, and to spill my own hush-hush.

I’m in love once again!  I’m now in love with her. Sadly, she didn’t give me any chance to prove my love to her but I understand. That was the time when I got an immense “no” and heard the sentence “we’re just friends!” from her after I personally approached to her, talked about my feelings and begged for her positive response while sitting a meter away from each other. That hurts really but still I understand. I just smiled and laughed to overcome the hopelessness but really my heart almost broken into half and my body was frozen that moment. I know I’m not the right guy that he longed for. I’m not even on the level of her standards. I’m nothing at all. I’m just a friend.  I tried to be okay physically and emotionally. I didn’t look at her for a minute. I didn’t say anything. I even want to bid goodbye. My feet want to walk out but my heart and mind insist. Soon, I took a one big deep breath, realizing nothing happened and nothing was seriously conversed that night in the garden. Until she held on my arms, asked me to look at her, and boldly said “Sorry!”

There are things in life that I can’t hold on forever, no matter how much I fight for it. Meeting that someone whom I called Miss Fashionista and whom I learned to love is just a part of the game that the playful destiny created. It made me apprehend in the end that the person I thought destined for me wasn’t really meant to stay but only destined to make me feel the love and soon leave me when I have already fallen. It’s not easy to state a reason when you decide to leave the one you love. What they don’t see is the fact that it hurts me even more to hurt someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt. There are times when I wish that I was limited to certain emotions so that I’ll never have to experience pain, never feel disappointed, and never get my fragile heart broken. But I guess learning takes time, mistakes make one’s journey fun and goodbye is not an escape. Life is what we make it; love makes the world go round. So let’s live, love, and take whatever pain it brings. Even though I’ve experienced that awkward moment, still, I’m glad and thankful that we’re good friends.

I will never say goodbye to you my special FRIEND!!!

I ❤ U

Mr. Smile

Warning! This may be the most serious and dramatic article I made here in our subject. I hope that you can bare my very emotional style of writing. I dedicate this article to the person who brought a big impact to my crazy life. If you’re going to ask who this person is, I’m sorry but I can’t tell it. You don’t know him after all… I guess. Let’s just call this person Mr. Smile for one obvious reason. A close friend of mine forced me to write something about him so that even in this piece of article, I can express my kept feelings for Mr. Smile.

Sadness fills my heart, as I try to accept the fact that some things are not meant to be mine. It’s hard to admit that I am defeated again, in a fight where I always do my best. I wanted to protest and shout out loud this emotion I perfectly understand, so that the person I’ve always wanted would look back and listen to what I’ve got to say. But this forbidden feeling must be kept in my heart, and try to forget it ever exists so nothing would change between the two of us.

I do not have the courage to express what I feel inside. If you’re all asking why, it is because the only thing I can hold on to is our friendship. You may call me weak or dumb for I failed to fight for the one I love, but what we have right now is more important to me than anything else. Even if it causes me to be hurt a million times, what matters most is that we’re together. I do not have any plans of revealing this secret of mine because I’m scared. I’m scared that this person may say goodbye to me as this scenario would break my heart into pieces.

The fact that I am only just a friend, it is really hard to pretend. There are times when I would just turn back whenever Mr. Smile is hanging out with someone else, and not let him see the tears falling down my cheeks. And when I’m ready to face him again, I would just smile and pretend to be okay like nothing happened.

I do not know when I would confess, or when I would finally say goodbye now that sooner or later, we’ll part ways. But I hope that I would never have to bid farewell. It is because I feel safe beside him. I have no worries of showing my true self because I know that this person has totally accepted me. I never expected that he’ll be this significant to my life. It just so happened that my heart started beating fast whenever I’m with him.

There are times when I just love to hang-out with Mr. Smile, do silly things and laugh all day. I love the way he comforts me through cracking jokes and making weird faces when I am about to cry. I love how we share our treasured secrets with each other.  It’s even crazier when we fight and argue for I always end up losing. Because of these, I learn to love unconditionally, and learn to value joyful memories that are indeed worth keeping.

I may look happy in front of this special someone, but deep inside I’m hurting. Hurting in a sense that I am forced to control myself from loving this person even more, because I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do.

If ever given a chance to talk right in front of him, I would thank him for he always completes my day. I would thank him for he never fails to put a smile on my face and encourages me to do cool things I never experience before. In short, I would tell Mr. Smile that my life won’t be the same when he did not come into my life, and he is definitely the person that I think I cannot say goodbye to.

 

Even though this loneliness I feel inside continues, I am already contented. We can’t be lovers, but it’s a good thing that we could be friends. I wanted to give back what Mr. Smile has done, to make me what I am right now. I promise to be the best friend he could ever have. I will always be here to the rescue whenever he feels like giving up. I will lend him my shoulders whenever he feels like crying. I will share to him my jokes (corny or not) and funny stories just to keep him laughing. And most importantly, I promise to give my full support when he already found his true love. I promise never to say goodbye for I will be a friend he could always count on. These are the things I can only do to Mr. Smile, to express how important he is in my life.

Photos retrieved from: http://chasefinley.tripod.com/chasefinley/id40.html

http://smallfishpune.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html

 

 

A Virgin’s Profession…(I love you, goodbye)

(*Morrish’s (not his real name) story as told to Anthony Nash O. De Leon)

Just one dance… just one dance. Your eyes laid on mine. Your arms wrapped around me. All my heart and soul are ready for yours to take. Our song sways our bodies to its rhythm and makes us float in the air like feathers. And we minded no one not even time. But in this one dance, in which I pretended you were all mine, it was all just a dream. So, if I could just have the strength. So, if I could just be so bold. Can I ask you just one question; could I have just one dance?

I have longed for that one dance with him. A dance that I wished would have happened. A dance I wish will happen. A dance that I know will never ever happen.

I am *Morrish. I am 19 years old and I will be graduating from college from a well-renowned university here in the university belt on March 22. I am a virgin. Yes, from head to toe, I am one. But that is not what I mean to say. I am a virgin of saying the words: I love you… and goodbye.

I love you. These are the three words that I deem so sacred. It is an idea that has floated inside my head but it never had the chance to break free. They are the words that I have never spoken. They are the words that I treasured so much because of its profound meaning. I want to utter it in front of the right person during the right moment. I want to be sure because it is not in my character to just say those words to someone just to impress her or to satisfy her need to know that I really do love her.

Saying goodbye, on the other hand, is as difficult as dividing a lumber of wood into two pieces. It is easier to say, “Bye!, TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)!, Till we meet again.” But to say goodbye, I find it so hard. Just hearing the word tears my heart apart. I remember so vividly that day when I wanted to say goodbye. But I never had the chance to state it. It was the burial of a great man. A man I know is one of the reasons why I am living; why I was given a chance to explore life. He was my father.

His death was because of his heart. It was not as strong as it was before when he was still young and playing his favourite sport, basketball. It has lost its vitality and has struggled to continue pumping blood. It would ache terribly. The pain was too strong. It cannot be tamed. It stopped. There were no more sounds. It was just the sound of a person’s last breath.

I was still very young. I was innocent, in fact. I was unable to walk and unable to run. But I was able to hear though, unable to speak. I only had feelings that I can express through a cry. It was a cry that meant sadness and pain. It was a cry that I wanted the whole world to heed and understand. However, for many it was just a cry; a cry from a hungry innocent child who just lost his father.

Father… oh how I wish I could call someone like that. Father…Father…Father…

The eagerness that I have to call someone ‘father’ is far stronger than my eagerness to say the words: I love you and goodbye. It is true. Never had my lips opened and spouted out neither those three words nor that two syllable word. It is not that I have a phobia from them. It is not that I am mute. It is not that I have a lock jaw. It is not because I have a cleft palette. It is just that the right time never came even though the person I deem so perfect for me was there, standing, smiling, glancing, as he says the word, “Hi!”

“Hi!” It was the same word that began my past relationships with Kathe, Debz, and Ija. Oh how I fondly called them by their names even when we were already in a relationship. Never did I call them those couple nicknames like honey, babe, hubby, love, or whatever couple nickname one might think of. Maybe it was one of the reasons why we broke up. But, besides that, they told me that my inability to say “I love you” prompted them to break up with me. Was I wrong for not saying those words? Is it really the only words that would express one’s love and affection to his/her partner?

Now, it has been five years and I have been single for a very long time. Single, oh how I wish I was never one anymore. Especially, when I met him a few years ago when I was still a college freshman.

He was an upperclassman. Many admired him not just for his looks but also for his brains. The only problem was he was a sloth. He would flunk most of his minor subjects. And that was the reason why we met.

It was an English class. We were seatmates. His surname began with an E while mine with an F. We never really noticed each other until the second week came. We were partners for the whole semester, for quizzes, for home works, for activities, but not in the major examinations.  He had fair skin; baby face, if I may say so. His scent was a mixture of peppermint and chocolate. He had a medium-sized body, not too thin, not too fat. He was just right. He was gorgeous.

Weeks pass by and little did we know that we were becoming closer than before. We shared stories about our families, about our childhood, about our friends, about our past relationships, and a lot more. We would tease each other incessantly like there were no other people around us. I remembered our teacher scolded us once because we were too noisy in class. This continued until the semester was nearing to its end. The thought of losing a friend came into my mind. He was one of my first friends in college. I did not want to say goodbye.

Until one day, he came up to me and offered a proposal. “Let’s be roommates,” he said. And I answered with just a nod. Now, I didn’t have to say goodbye to him anymore. Later did I know, it would be harder to say goodbye to him in the end.

Years rolled by, he was already going to graduate. And I still have one academic school year to finish. He considered me as his younger brother. But I wanted to be more than just friends, to be more than just a brother. I wanted to be his lover.

photo by: google pics

Time began to expire, and it is only a few more belly shakes before he reaches his commencement rites. Their course mates prepared a ball as a send off party to them seniors. No one was allowed to bring a date; just friends. I was invited. That night, I wanted to profess my love. I wanted him to know. I wanted to know what he feels. I just wanted to say those words that I have longed to say. But it did not matter. Later that night, he divulged that he and Julia are already in a relationship. Julia finally said yes to him. I did not know he was courting somebody. I did not know he loved somebody. Why didn’t he tell me?

The song by Steven Bishop played. They went off and danced in the dance floor. They were happy. I can tell. They had those twinkle in their eyes. Their smiles lasted and they never faded. I was broken. I had a broken heart. I left. I left without any trace.

I left our room. I transferred to a farther dormitory. We ended our communication. I am now content. Am I happy? I do not know.

All I know is it was something special for me. Until now, I wished it never ended.

I still have dreams of him and I together. We are alone. We are happy together, just the two of us. But still, there is no closure. The longer I try to say I don’t love him anymore, the longer my feelings for him become stronger. It hurts so badly. It is as if I was feeling my father’s pain when he was about to die. It can’t be contained.

photo by: google pics

If only I had the strength to say I love you to him. Then maybe, now, I am stronger. Then maybe, I am now courageous.  Then maybe I am now a virgin no more. No more of the virgin who cannot say the words I love you and goodbye.

Now, here I am, sitting in this old wooden chair saying to myself: “  Just one dance… just one dance. Your eyes laid on mine. Your arms wrapped around me. All my heart and soul are ready for yours to take. Our song sways our bodies to its rhythm and makes us float in the air like feathers. And we minded no one not even time. But in this one dance, in which I pretended you were all mine, it was all just a dream. So, if I could just have the strength. So, if I could just be so bold. Can I ask you just one question; could I have just one dance?—Anthony Nash O. De Leon

THE LAST WORD

HI’s… HELLO’s… GOODBYE’s…

Probably, the last one’s the hardest word that one could ever say or hear from somebody especially from someone special.

GOODBYE may be the usual word we say when ending a telephone conversation or the word we say after a hangout with friends. But really, when reality speaks, GOODBYE  can be that single word that can bring a person a lot of pain, that one word that can turn a person’s world upside down.

GOODBYE – what an irony that such word contains the word “Good” in it but usually speaking, all it can bring is a “Bad” feeling.

Now… If I may ask you a question, who could be the people you don’t want to say goodbye? Do you have someone in mind?

As for me, I have three in mind…

First in line is my family… Why? Ever since the world said “Hi,” I never heard my family said “Goodbye.” Who was there first when I opened my eyes into this world for the first time. Who was there first when I learned how to talk and walk. Who was there first when I entered school. Who was there first when I was lying in a hospital bed. Who was there first when I had a broken heart. With all that questions, I can only give one answer – FAMILY. My family, my home was there first.

I know to myself though that I do not have the perfect family. No one does. I do have misunderstandings with my parents and arguments with my siblings.  But I know more to myself that I can never say goodbye to these people who taught me to be serious with life but funny with people, to be a strong person yet humble, to be silent yet upright.

Saying goodbye to my family is the only thing I can never afford to do.

               

Second in line are my friends. We may never be related. We may have just started as strangers. We may have never planned to meet… But we did and here we are, sharing common interests and working out on occurring differences. I love my friends and I mean it.

      

These people were the ones who challenged my personality, my whole being. “Yung ako na walang halong kaplastikan,” as we call it in Tagalog. These people taught me how to give out respect to other people and to myself. More than that, my friends taught me how to gain and earn trust.

Now, tell me… How can say goodbye to these people? If I have been planning to say “goodbye” to a friend, then I should have never said “hi” in the very first place.

Saying goodbye to my friends is the only thing I can never afford to do.

Last but not least… I can never say goodbye to the SURVIVOR in me.

guess who?

My life could have been so miserable without that survivor in me who have been pushing me to sail the stormy ocean, to cross the dangerous desert, to travel the unknown jungle. I could have been lesser, weaker, or a loser if I have learned to say goodbye to that person in me.

Where will I be in this world without that person? I just can’t imagine saying goodbye to that survivor… It’s the only thing I can never afford to do.

HI’s…HELLO’s… GOODBYE’s… Still, the last one’s the hardest word to bear.

 But, in this life, we can never get away from moments where we really have to say goodbye to people. Remember, life is come and go. It will pain us, hurt us, and torture us ‘til when, but there’s nothing we can do but accept. If we had time for hi’s and hello’s, there’s no exemption for goodbye’s. We may never be ready and never plan to be ready, but GOODBYE is one of life’s weirdest challenges – say it when you must and the pain shall go.

GOODBYES… Get Over the Or Deal and Believe that You’ll Embrace the Situation.

Phone calls and short conversations

Three years ago, I wrote an article about him as a Christmas present. An article which I thought would be the last one. But then, here I am again today, writing about him because he was the first person I thought when we are asked to write about the person whom we can’t say goodbye. Here I am again, writing all my sentiments about him, how I miss him dearly, and how I would give everything to turn back our times.
I mean, how would I say goodbye to my first love when he is the last person whom I wanted to bid my farewell. To the one who made my dull and forgettable high school life one hell of a roller coaster ride. To the one who has been my living diary that constantly listens to my rants, my clown that wipes my tears off my eyes and made them happy, my mirror that shows the real me, and , of course, my best friend who has been there for me in my most stupidest moments.
We had memories together in that old ice cream house as we share our favorite flavors of ice creams. During those times, we would not notice how hard the rain was or scorching the heat of the sun. We would not notice that it was past my 6pm curfew or when it was time for us to go home.
Ours was the time when I wait for him till his basketball practice was over, when he waits for me outside our room, when we go for a carousel ride in Cubao, and when we go finding our friend’s house till we realized that we are lost.
I remember how I went to his house after class just to see him for the last time. I made a very long letter in a crumpled yellow paper, in between my English class, with my pitiful penmanship carefully scribbling the things that I wanted to say eversince high school, while I silently get my handkerchief and wipe my hot tears that ran in my face.
And then when we saw each other, we bid our farewells and promises of keeping in touch. We exchange memorabilia, and talked of the things that we should do if we’ll meet again ten years from then on.
I would never forget that moment that made me realized that I really can’t say my goodbye.
He was not really the one that got away. In the first place, he was not really mine. He just have to go far, be with his family, and fulfill his mother’s wishes of him. We’re plain old friends and I know that. It’s just that there’s a part of me that hopes someday, if we’ll meet again, we’ll be the same old friends back when we were just those naughty teenagers trying to escape the pressure our family and our studies bring.
Though he is miles apart from me now, though we had our own memories together way back in high school, I know it will never be the same again.
But today, we keep our promises with each other—and that is to keep in touch despite our very busy schedule. He calls me on special occasions and during times when I just wanted to talk with him. He would call in between his duty at work, silently escaping his boss’ demands. He called to inform me about his new car which he has to pay, his plan to enroll in few subjects next semester, and his plan to save in order to have a vacation here.
We still have our short conversations while we are growing as the individuals we have dreamt to be. We are growing separately but dream as one, share experiences together– though we are walled with distance and all the internet connection disruption. The times when we just say hello to each other online. Or when something popped in my mind, I’ll message him to call or to answer my e-mails. I would comment on his latest photo showing his growing fat body while he mock my thin body and curly hair and we’ll talk about it on the phone like kids teasing each other in a playground.
I am happy that even now, he still knows me. I let him know of my undertakings, from my college activities, my family, my love life and everything in between.
Truly, I really can’t say my goodbye. Because I know that it would be very painful. It is not about moving on or letting go but a matter of waiting until he comes again. Until that time, I’ll keep on waiting for him to come back.

Martyr Nyebera

Each one of us has that special someone that no matter how many times we tried to let that person go, we just can’t. Because every time we try to do so, it keeps on breaking our hearts.  That special someone can make you the happiest person in the whole entire universe, and at the same time, makes you the saddest man alive during tough times.  He/she is your life, but sometimes, you are at your best, without that person.

It’s been 7 years since I’ve known this guy; he is my crush, my inspiration, my first love, and my boyfriend. Just like any other girls, I admired this guy because of his looks, perfect eyes, and kissable lips. But as I have known him even more, I started to love his character as a person; I can see how much he value his family, how close he is to God despite his “maangas” looks, and how he makes sure that I’m secured all the time. In short, I fell in love deeply with this guy.

For those 7 years of knowing each other, we already encountered a lot of difficulties, and I believe that it is because of immaturity. But when we reached college, everything is smooth, as if it was the perfect timing for the both of us never imagine that our relationship will be more complicated, and challenging.

He has his ego, I have my pride. He has that strict personality, I also have mine. We have almost the same characteristic that’s why we can’t help but to always argue even the smallest things. Like what other people said, in finding a perfect partner he/she should be the opposite you. But that’s different compared to my situation, but what’s good about us is we still manage to work things out.

 

 

What exactly made me think if it’s time to give up is about me, being taken for granted by him most especially when we’re having misunderstandings. I don’t know, but there are certain instances when I just felt like being ignored.

 

 

FYI:  I’m very sensitive; I don’t want to feel like being worthless to a person whom I’ve been showing my love and care.

Some of my friends told me to leave him that I should not just focus mylife to him, there’s more to come, besides, I’m still young. They also added that because of him, I don’t have enough time for my friends, and for myself. But I just can’t, it’s not that easy. It’s hard to say goodbye to a person who has been your happiness for years, maybe they would just understand when they already experience this kind of feeling when you already found your true love. Yes, I considered him as my true love, my first and one true love.

Our relationship might be weird, and many people might not understand our rules and regulations as a couple. But for me, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me, you might not know, you might ask me why. When you’re in love, you are willing to take risks, and even accept that person even if he is at his worst. Instead of thinking negative things, I learned how to appreciate, appreciate the fact that I learned how to love, and also be love in returned. We might have differences, and fight like a married couple, but that’s relationship is all about. For now, I can’t say goodbye to him, and I can’t imagine doing that in the near future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdrqaYIB9uI

“I got the title of my article from this song of Kamikazee, I just think it fits us and I can somehow relate my self to this” :))))) Hope you find time to listen and watch the video:)

Just Around the corner

We all have a hard time to saying goodbye to person even in material things, but as life goes on we must learn to say goodbye and face the new begging to conquer all the pain after a sad moment of fears and pain. This article makes me think what would I write?, Do I really need to say goodbye to the person that I love and loved?.

Who is the person that I can’t say goodbye?. There are many people that I don’t want to lose right now, but I believe losing them will either break or hurt me but it can’t kill me. The first person that I can’t say goodbye is my Mama and Papa because of them I’m existing in this wonderful earth, they thought me how to be strong, to be open-minded for every triumphs that I will face, to find may own solutions for every problem, they always there for me, I am afraid that one day they will grow old and die, leave me and my brothers and sister, it would be so hard I can’t barely imagine my life without them.

The second person that I can’t say goodbye is my brothers Vanni, Olan and sisters Jov and Nins in Christ, because of them I learn to appreciate little things, to share want you can give, to endure all the challenges to face them head up high, to value my self more than I imagine, it was all about the fun memories that we shared but the hard challenges the we face together, getting inspirations with each other, figure things out. I really can’t say goodbye to them how I wish I could be in the ministry forever, to stay forever young, why? because I feel complete with them, there’s a sense of fulfillment, I am at peace, I never have to worry for them because I know God is using us for the greater sense of our lives, though I admit we are not perfect servant of the Lord, there are times that we argue with small things, our tempers were very high, and the worst thing that we did is to curse each other, but those were the times that we misunderstood each others, but now I can say that we all grow together as one for God.

And of course I can’t say goodbye to my ever loving and crazy friends ( you know who you are) you are the people who may made life simple, sorrowful at the same time happy, I would like to take this chance not to say goodbye but to thank you guys for being such a good friends to me, I know that were not that close but still you somehow still care for me I will definitely miss you guys for those endless overnight (though I can count on my fingers some many times that I come with those memorable nights) the places that we eat together, the tripping that we made, the stories that we all shared, the requirements that we made, the exams answer that we shared, you guys rock.

Ether I like it or not, goodbyes are just around the corners, it can happen too early, but it will be always better if the goodbye moment are just right in time, when we are tired, when we feel it hurts like hell, we need to let go, to accept the things that we think aren’t acceptable to us we it leaves us no choice but to accept it whole heatedly.

P.S we don’t want to say goodbye so let just keep in touch with each other ((:

People and Memories that She Can’t Say Goodbye To. By: Gerald Rivera

All of us have to go to some tough times and rough challenges in life. We face trials and overcome obstacles to be a person of value and worth. Read and listen to the story of this girl as she recalls the horror of her teenage life and retell how the man she loved died as well as how bitter memories changed her life forever.

One look and I knew she was a typical student in the university with a quiet bookish aura and composed atmosphere.  She looks like a normal girl with a normal life around. But as usual, what you see is not always what you get. When she started to share her terrible past with some tears, I knew her life back then was a rough as a roller coaster ride, as dark as midnight.

Photo courtesy of google.com

Danica, not her real name whose dramatic story had been featured in a TV show, is a 20-year-old Legal Management student in the University of the East. She is currently residing in Women’s shelter owned by Christian Missionaries in Mandaluyong City. Because of family problem, at the age of 10, she was forced to stay at her grandma’s home in Caloocan city. She thought that was the only agony she had to go through. Unknowingly, major blows had just started to come one after the other.

At the age of 13 her grand mom died, her grandfather didn’t  treat her good so she had to go back in her parent’s home which she consider as hell. Her relationship with her family deteriorated, she became an ephemeral prostitute and had several live- in partners. The worst part was, her boyfriend, the only hope she had and the only man that cared for her died in just a snap.

Photo courtesy of google.com

The person she can’t say goodbye

The only good thing about Danica’s life in her teenage years was Marlon her boyfriend. He was gorgeous, kind and gentleman. Danica love him so much.

“ Marlon was my first boyfriend siya ang pinaka minahal ko. I though siya na talaga ang magiging asawa ko. He was the only one who gives me hope and strength kahit na magulo din ang pamilya nya”.-she said.

But after six months of relationship, their fate took a sudden blow. The 22-year-old Marlon was killed via four stabs by Danica’s ex-boyfriend who is a gang member. Obviously she was the cause of the commotion.

“December yun ng 2005 nang binalita saken yung nangyari na shock ako, hindi ako makalabas, ni hindi ako nakapunta sa burol at libing. Nahihiya aki sa parents niya at sa mga tao. Sobrang sakit until now I just can’t say goodbye to him. Siya lang talaga yung taong minahal ko. The terrible part was parang ako pa yung dahilan diba.” She said

Danica also admitted that the killer her ex-boyfirend was a casual illegal drug user, while Marlon was also part of a gang.

“Now I lost communication with them, hanggang nayon di ko alam kung nakulong ba yung ex ko or kung maayos ba yung lagay ng family ni Marlon ang alam ko lang sirang sira ang buhay ko nun.” Danica added.

The memories she can’t say goodbye

Danica was a victim of irresponsible parenthood. Her father was a consistent drunker, her mother was jobless and she is the eldest in the brood of eight. She admitted that her “lolo” was once molested her while her father abused her verbally.

“Yung teenage years ko yun talaga ang painful part ng buhay ko. I don’t like my dad, I hate him very much, I hate life, my family, and everything from there”.  Danica said.

In the middle of Danica’s messy life, she entered the world of prostitution with the help of her friend, at first she work in a bar in Makati but a when woman called mamasang gave them opportunity to work as prostitute in Tarlac she grabbed it and was in Tarlac in a year.

“ Grabe ang naging buhay ko dun, kung kani kaninong sugar daddy ako napupunta and dami kong naka live-in , no love, no commitment only lust, money and sex, I saw my whole world as if it was falling apart lagi akong umiinom, naglalasing my life was nowhere to be found wala akong direksyon nun.” She claimed.

Saying goodbye with these memories is very hard for Danica, even if she wants to forget and move on, it would really take time to regain what was lost and to forget and finally bid goodbye to those abysmal times of her life.

A road to healing

It was in august 2007, when she received a call from a group of philanthropist or Christian missionaries. It was her mother who seeks help to bring her daughter back.

“Nung una ayoko, nagmatigas ako I wanted to stay pero pinilit nila ako at tinawagan ng paulit-ulit na confine ako dahilsa sakit. When I felt helpless dun bumigay na ako at bumalik ng mandaluyong”. She confessed,

Danica undertook a lot of counseling with the Christian group, she was part of the Victory for Christ,  harvest for Chrsit church. At 16 she began to change her life. Until now she is living with the Christian shelter in Mandaluyong. While she’s still away from her family, their communication and relationship started to grow and develop

“sobrang hirap mag adjust, it was pure pain pero ngayon okay na ako. I’m in the period of healing and forgiving.”

Danica is now studying courtesy of the Christian Missionaries. They provide all her needs together with other abused women,she lived in a safe and god-centerd community. They give her allowance and continues counseling. In return, Danica promised to have a god-centered life. She teaches Sunday school for children and lead the dance group of their church.

“Before I felt like a dust in the wind, worthless, I felt nothing but pain. But now I feel like a gold being treasured by god.”

“Mahirap mag goodbye sa lahat ng memoroies lalo na dun sa taong minahal ko, pero it will take time, Hindi ako nagsisisi sa nangyari sa past ako dahil dun kaya ako naging ganito. Im stronger now. Dahil sa past ko mas naging totong tao ako,I found my purpose, mas realize ko na important ako kay god at importante siya sa buhay ko.”

Sooner or later I’ll have  bid goodbye to those people and memories of my dark past because now I am headed with a purposeful future.-she ended

Truly, we all have our stories to tell, past that can’t be forgotten. People whom we can’t say goodbye to, but the most important thing is we learned,  life is indeed like a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs, twist and turns, its rough but fun. It is also like a book, full of chapters; You should finish one chapter before you begin another.

Little Girl Bids Goodbye

Little girls would signify young and fairy tale love.

Little girls live in a fairytale dream – those that they have read in fiction books. Pixie dust, magic carpet, and one enchanting love story are simply one of best. Sadly, the face of reality does not always have its happy ending. People come, go, and bid their own goodbyes. I was once like a little girl but it changed when I had to say goodbye to my knight – my Polaris.

Meeting Polaris was my 'little girl' dream. I was captured.

College days are tough but it had become a joy when Polaris entered my fairytale life. Our first encounter was very sudden. I can associate it with love at first glance. Polaris is not a boy-next- door type. On the contrary, he likes rock to alternative songs and was always driven by nostalgia and melodrama. With my positive aura and giggly attitude, we were total opposites. My friends would doubt at his intentions of getting to know me. They said that he might not be the one – my knight. Nevertheless, Polaris continued to be my northern star. It was convenient for our feelings to blossom because we share the same university and the same building. Back then, I was also experiencing a difficult situation because of a broken family. Polaris had made my life so easy even in my biggest downfall. We use to have short conversations during vacant periods. That short encounters was priceless. I was safe that this love story will have a happy ending.

Girls dream of a fairy tale love story but happy endings do not always happen in reality.

But I guess, being so secured and confident of our situation is not healthy. I got really upset when I saw him with another girl whom later on he revealed to as one of his best friends. I started running away and avoided him. I even got mad at him without telling him the exact reason.  A week later, it was Valentine’s day. He revealed that he was in a relationship – not with his best friend. I was ready to patch things up with him but my chance was wasted. I realized that fairytales have happy endings but I live in reality. Things would not work only as you wish.

It has been three years since we last saw each other. He left our university to work in a communications company. It was three years already but I am still stuck with that regret. I have tried different ways to move on and finally bid goodbye to my feelings for him but it always end up with epic failure. A line from a movie script had touched me and I quote: “People do not really move on. They just learn how to endure the pain through time.” I believe that I will not be ready to move on and say goodbye to this fairytale. I still have this little girl in my heart.

Saying goodbye to the person whom you can consider your great love is tragic. It cuts deep within your heart. The result of my unending goodbye to Polaris is being burned out to find another knight in shining armor. My fear is saying goodbye. I hope that from being a little girl, I would transform into a modern day heroine – the one who can endure pains and courageous enough to face their fears. I am a little girl but soon I will be a full-bloom woman. I just need more time.

 

Image Sources:

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=walking+in+the+rain+sad&um=1&hl=tl&biw=1024&bih=634&tbm=isch&tbnid=4XM5c4AQNP5t7M:&imgrefurl=http://thandiwe66.blogspot.com/2010/08/little-box-boy-in-rain.html&docid=PAVsWWQ–6zOzM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_v8zuLwoeT6Q/THGaNp-1tII/AAAAAAAAAH0/45e5HKa1ynQ/s1600/tumblr_l6ftjoOiDv1qbqp59o1_500.jpg&w=500&h=333&ei=QxdnT63hBMuhiQesuOzgBQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=99&vpy=116&dur=126&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=227&ty=115&sig=113046509622529736351&page=1&tbnh=138&tbnw=192&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=heartbreaks&um=1&hl=tl&biw=1024&bih=634&tbm=isch&tbnid=2vQAcK4t702a5M:&imgrefurl=http://slashiongoespersonal.blogspot.com/2010/06/june.html&docid=47gwYOlSckFJyM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_RgIeaEHoi8M/TBxXfPPIeVI/AAAAAAAABLg/sGFoedfU5ZQ/s1600/heartbreak.jpg&w=757&h=900&ei=SBZnT-KnGcefiQf4vaDcBQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=259&sig=113046509622529736351&page=2&tbnh=138&tbnw=127&start=17&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:17&tx=62&ty=27

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=little+girl+praying&num=10&um=1&hl=tl&biw=1024&bih=634&tbm=isch&tbnid=I9SpowzAjssJfM:&imgrefurl=http://www.turnbacktogod.com/praying-pics/&docid=j4N-jWgf9CpsOM&imgurl=http://www.turnbacktogod.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/a-little-girl-praying.jpg&w=300&h=464&ei=ThhnT6imCIOXiAfowcXiBQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=511&sig=113046509622529736351&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=137&tbnw=82&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=10&ty=29

Where’s the good in goodbye?

I Love You BroD

REPUBLIC ACT NO. 8049 – An act regulating hazing and other form if initiation rites in fraternities, sororities, and other organizations and providing penalties therefore

Section 1. Hazing, as used in this Act, is an initiation rite or practice as a prerequisite for admission into membership in fraternity, sorority or organization by placing the recruit, neophyte or applicant in some embarrassing or humiliating situations such as forcing him to do menial, silly, foolish and other similar tasks or activities or otherwise subjecting him to physical or psychological suffering or injury.

In addition, hazing means infliction of unnecessary or excessive work in order to harass, an attempt to embarrass or disconcert by ridicule or persistent criticism, or the subjecting (of a freshman or fraternity pledge) to treatment intended to put in ridiculous or disconcerting position. Members who give ritual to a neophyte defends that it’s through hazing can they prove one’s endurance and thus achieves loyalty to the group.

Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago, however, said in a statement, that, “Republic Act No. 8049″, or the Anti-Hazing Law, must undergo a comprehensive review because it has failed to stop hazing within fraternities, sororities and student organizations since its enactment.

Some of the fraternities in the Philippines include:

Delta Sigma Phi Fraternity

Alpha Psi Omega

Alpha Mu Omega

Alpha Psi Omega (Ateneo de Manila), Delta Sigma Fraternity con Sorority (University of the East & Philippine College of Criminology), Delta Sigma Phi (University of the East & Philippine College of Criminology), Gamma Phi Sigma (University of the Philippines Diliman) and Alpha Mu Omega (De La Salle Araneta University)

     Fraternity from the Latin word frater which means “brother”, is a brotherhood, as the members usually say, of people at a college or university usually characterized by Greek letters.

     Brod as they call one another. No one gets away with them when you’re in trouble. Brothers will be brothers. Walang iwanan as they say, its like “till death do us part” of a couple. I may be soft spoken but I do have my own “BroD’s”. They are the ones whom I cannot ever forget. They are the ones whom I cannot betray. They are the ones whom I am willing to die for and they are the ones whom I cannot say goodbye.

MD4VB

     This fraternity has only two leaders and four members. We call this MD4VB, it was established in 1989 starting with only one member until 1992 when the 4^th member joined the group. Years ago, one of its founding members died because of cervical cancer. However, our fraternity has been stronger since then. We had our hard times but still we are intact and we love each other. No matter what happen, each and every one of us will stay in our minds and in our hearts.

MD4VB’s journey

Kape at Gatas

     Let me introduce you the founding members that we call our great leaders. These two lovely couples were so in love in their college days. They have been called “Kape’t gatas” because of their obvious different skin tone. They have been strict but never been harsh to the members. They have been so lovely and caring to the members. They’re the great leaders that we wished we could be with for the rest of our lives. But God has plans for us. We have already waived our goodbye to Ms. Pataray, but we still have Mr. Chocolaté so we continue with our lives after few months of being paralyzed because of her lose.

     The first member in MD4VB is “Boombastic”. I remember so vividly the day we got into a fight, I was playing with the other gangs one day afternoon, and then somebody bullied me and teased me. Bombastic saw what this kid was doing, and so he came to rescue and gave the kid a lesson he could not forget. After what happened he told me that I should tell him whenever there’s someone bullying me.

Boy Ismid

     Furthermore, the second member of the fraternity is “Boy Ismid”. He was called boy Ismid because he was so snob and never talked and mingle to anyone unless you’ll approach this guy. He was so out of this world because you can see him talk in front of the mirror while making faces. Hey, wait! That’s me! I am Boy Ismid.

     Moreover, the third member of our brotherhood is “COOLangot”. He got this funny name because he was always seen picking his nose, like there’s no tomorrow. This guy is so cool that he has been the campus crush even if he dressed like a hoodlum. He is one of the maangas among the group and most of the time picks up a fight. But still, we helped him win over his opponents.

     The fourth member is “Bratty”. Since he was the last member of our group, this guy was spoiled by our great leaders and never picks up a fight. This guy is also called the nerdy because he is also good in academics so nobody knows that he belongs to a fraternity.

Unveiling the MD4VB

     I just cannot express myself because I really cannot say goodbye anymore to these people. I have already given my final wave to my mother, and my heart can no longer take the time when I really have to say goodbye to them. My age maybe out of the calendar soon, but my love for these people will never be vanished no matter what happen and no matter how far we are from each other, I still love them.

brother on a wheelchair

     I remember few years ago, when my elder brother got into an accident. He never wanted us to know what happened to him because he doesn’t want us to see crying over him. He needed blood donation, which is why his wife called me and told me what happened. The time stopped and I couldn’t breathe. There were tears running on my face and all I can hear is my heartbeat, beating so fast.

     I told my younger brothers what happened to our kuya, and went to the hospital as soon as we can. We tried to be strong for him, but as soon as we saw him sitting on the wheel chair, his face full of bruises, blood were on her wife’s dress. We can no longer stop our emotions. He just said “Sorry, ayoko na sana kayong abalahin e, kaya lang kelangan ko ng lakas. Gusto ko kayo makita.” Good thing after several months, he recovered and he went back to work.

motorcycle accident

     Similarly, it was one lazy afternoon when my Dad just woke me up because there was no food ready for him, it was already 12 noon, but we just woke up. And so I told my younger brother (Prince) to go to the market because I have something else to do and he is the one assigned to go to the market. Since he has a driver’s license, he used the bike. An hour after, he was walking very slow and his hands on his head. He has an afro hair and so it looks like he’s just whining about his head ache or he was just joking.

     It was only when I came closer to him and saw blood on his shirt, ears, and hands. His head is really in hurt. He started sharing what happened to him on his way home. I stopped doing my homework, and get the medicine kit. I have to clean his wound to see if he needs a serious medical attention. I felt so guilty after what happened and so I took care of him and cooked for him.

my BroD's

     Everything happens for a reason. No matter what it was, it made our bond more intact. Fraternities may have kinds of hazing like paddling, slapping, tedious cleaning, weird clothing, food and servitude. But MD4VD has its own hazing, and with the kind of hazing that we had, we became stronger and braver. We became mature and open-minded. We learn how to love without a reason and appreciate little things. We became the man that we are today and we will become the leader that they want us to be.

I LOVE YOU BROD, or I Love You BROthers and Dad. I really just cannot say goodbye to you. One is enough, two is too much. I miss you Mom.

 

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Source: http://en.wikipilipinas.org/index.php?title=Fraternities_in_the_Philippines

 

Pictures retrieved from:

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=Delta+Sigma+Phi&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=FXV_b2bmq5-mYM:&imgrefurl=http://www.hpusigs.com/%3Fpage_id%3D2&docid=hOEKrJK4bIdxcM&imgurl=http://hpusigs.com/wp/wp-content/themes/dsp-seal.gif&w=293&h=276&ei=Zp9nT_z0IqvDmQWQiZXtCA&zoom=1

 

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=alpha+mu+omega+logo&hl=en&sa=X&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=y7i-73rcdCF6qM:&imgrefurl=http://alpha-mu-omega.tripod.com/&docid=qrx1nJq-VaERPM&imgurl=http://alpha-mu-omega.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/fraternity_logo.jpg&w=439&h=165&ei=dKJnT562Fu-KmQXotf2XCQ&zoom=1

 

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=motor+accident&start=6&num=10&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=__CZqnQgI5gw4M:&imgrefurl=http://www.allseriousaccidents.com/top-miami-law-firms-practice-areas/motorcycle-accident-lawyer-miami/&docid=Y_TLPQwfimYvsM&imgurl=http://www.allseriousaccidents.com/images/motorcycle_accident_law.jpg&w=350&h=250&ei=bKRnT9WKN8bxmAX31uiRCQ&zoom=1

 

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=brother+in+wheelchair&hl=en&sa=X&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=iqxDYw5YB0fB0M:&imgrefurl=http://motodipoto.blogspot.com/2011/01/whee-style-chair.html&docid=m_HObuhYNoWKQM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BnCwOMRwcSY/TTQjUHZTnuI/AAAAAAAAA3s/oouIjvhC4fA/s1600/RESIZEEE.jpg&w=1067&h=1600&ei=7aJnT5qeFInJmQXKxaXqCA&zoom=1