HOW I WISH I COULD

THow I wish I could

The word goodbye has a lot of meaning, in different context. It can be a goodbye for an ending or a goodbye for a start of a new beginning. It’s not always that goodbye is for the betterment. Most goodbyes are full of tears and melancholic emotions.
Most farewells are made in a wake, burial of someone very important. I never experience something like this. I never wish for it to hand, but they say there must be someone to say goodbye first. What I mean is losing someone because of death.
My grandmother is an 82 yr old intelligent, wise, talkative woman. She has many stories to tell never-ending stories from her childhood. Because of her age, her memory loss she sometimes forgets that she once tell the same story.
There is nothing much better when she laughs, Laughing at the same stories. However, it is quite sad to think that she has lesser days to live as days pass by. Meaning everyday lessens the day that I could hear her funny old stories.
Sometimes I just stare at her and tell her that she is beautiful despite of her rough saggy skin. This makes her laugh and tell me that I’m just flattering her and she is aware of her condition. That she is old and maybe eventually she will leave us.
Getting old is one thing I’m afraid of, I told her but she said there is nothing better than seeing young grandsons and granddaughters roaming around, Happy seeing her kids successful.
Every year we celebrate her birthday. It serves as our reunion. All her daughters and sons are present with their families. It is a tradition and for me the happiest day of the year. My Mom together with her brothers will sing and dance and my grand mom will just watch them.
I wonder what if she passed away. Would it still be have a day like this? Everyone would be lonely because she is one of the great women in the world not because she is beautiful, glamorous, and funny but because she is the root of us.
If there would be a person that I can’t say goodbye maybe, that would be my granny. She bonds us. But life is very short. Expect the worst. I hope everything will be the same after her vital. As Morrie Schatz said death does not break a relationship.
Yet, its very hard to say goodbye to the person you love the most. How I wish I could.

my Mother

I am my mother’s son.

Twenty-three years ago, a young woman whispered to me saying, “I love you, I will always protect you, I will always be here for you”. Of course I did not understand it that time, nor do I remember the young woman saying that to me. But that’s what my mother is telling me now, that she indeed said those words to me.  And I believe her…sometimes.

Yes, my mother loves me so much, but sometimes, I cannot discount the fact that she sometimes also wishes that she would put me back inside her tummy. Just like a lot of mothers, they get mad at their child to teach him a lesson. It may be difficult to understand but if one tries to understand deeper, a mother only wants the best for her child.

My mother and I have our own love-hate episodes. There were even moments when I wished I had a different mother. I couldn’t understand why she would not allow me to do some things, to go out sometimes, to buy things. But, actually, those were just to teach me a thing or two.  Quite not very easy to understand as a child, but now I truly understand.

 

Had my mother gave all my wants as a child, I know I would be a different person now. I would have different views of life, views of rights and wrongs, and I will never change how I am today. For who I am, I will forever be grateful for my mother.

The Revelation II

Note:

The story that you will read includes details not suitable for naïve and primitive readers. This is too private and sizzling hot to handle so if you have a plan to reproduce or share it to others, who don’t belong to this class, forget my name and I’ll forget yours. Thanks!

Do you remember the time when I asked you an undaunted question about loving two different persons at the same time? I gravely defined one as your beloved partner in a relationship while the other was a special someone who had an exceptional place in your heart. Now, it isn’t the case in my peculiar shoes any longer, I already made a move which I think one of the fairest and unlamented decisions I ever made so far in my life. I’m self-assured to say that my heart vigorously beats to someone that I truly and whole-heartedly love; she is Miss Fashionista.

Miss Fashionista is definitely not her real name. She has a rare fair skin, a unique hair strands, a quite pointed nose, thin lips, dazzling eyes, slender body, has an unpredictable weirdness, and love to dress up with all kinds of garments. She has been my consistent schoolmate since first year college in the University of the East and has also been my classmate a year ago. She belongs to the graduating class of 2012, taking up a degree related to mine. She is a key member of a pioneering organization of the university where I myself was also a prime member. She has been my friend since then but supposedly became close friends just a month ago.

During our freshmen’s years, Miss Fashionista has been my secret crush. She has been the apple of my eye inside our classroom, along the College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) corridors, in the staircases of Batibot and etc. By just seeing her cheerful face and notable cute smile on a normal weekday, my worries are fading away and my body is starting to pump out. But what can I do? I want to express my feeling of likeness to her but I’m afraid of the words she’ll say in return. I’m just an innocent and arrogant young man who admires her but no guts to face her. I just think that it’s a test of persistence to what and when is the extent of my admiration to her. And so I decided to keep that feeling and have that as a secret.

Then the following year, I suddenly entered in a relationship where I found myself flat. I learned to love somebody more than a friend for the third time around. Yes! I am humble to say that I did love her with all my heart and strived to be happy with her for two years and five months. But like what other relationships have to write, ours marked period. We are now officially separated for your information. It’s exactly a month and five days since we decided to part ways. I decided to break her heart badly because I felt I’m fooling myself if we continue that stupid love. Subsequently, I came up with a decision to straightly walk forward, to face whom my heart beats, and to spill my own hush-hush.

I’m in love once again!  I’m now in love with her. Sadly, she didn’t give me any chance to prove my love to her but I understand. That was the time when I got an immense “no” and heard the sentence “we’re just friends!” from her after I personally approached to her, talked about my feelings and begged for her positive response while sitting a meter away from each other. That hurts really but still I understand. I just smiled and laughed to overcome the hopelessness but really my heart almost broken into half and my body was frozen that moment. I know I’m not the right guy that he longed for. I’m not even on the level of her standards. I’m nothing at all. I’m just a friend.  I tried to be okay physically and emotionally. I didn’t look at her for a minute. I didn’t say anything. I even want to bid goodbye. My feet want to walk out but my heart and mind insist. Soon, I took a one big deep breath, realizing nothing happened and nothing was seriously conversed that night in the garden. Until she held on my arms, asked me to look at her, and boldly said “Sorry!”

There are things in life that I can’t hold on forever, no matter how much I fight for it. Meeting that someone whom I called Miss Fashionista and whom I learned to love is just a part of the game that the playful destiny created. It made me apprehend in the end that the person I thought destined for me wasn’t really meant to stay but only destined to make me feel the love and soon leave me when I have already fallen. It’s not easy to state a reason when you decide to leave the one you love. What they don’t see is the fact that it hurts me even more to hurt someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt. There are times when I wish that I was limited to certain emotions so that I’ll never have to experience pain, never feel disappointed, and never get my fragile heart broken. But I guess learning takes time, mistakes make one’s journey fun and goodbye is not an escape. Life is what we make it; love makes the world go round. So let’s live, love, and take whatever pain it brings. Even though I’ve experienced that awkward moment, still, I’m glad and thankful that we’re good friends.

I will never say goodbye to you my special FRIEND!!!

I ❤ U

A Virgin’s Profession…(I love you, goodbye)

(*Morrish’s (not his real name) story as told to Anthony Nash O. De Leon)

Just one dance… just one dance. Your eyes laid on mine. Your arms wrapped around me. All my heart and soul are ready for yours to take. Our song sways our bodies to its rhythm and makes us float in the air like feathers. And we minded no one not even time. But in this one dance, in which I pretended you were all mine, it was all just a dream. So, if I could just have the strength. So, if I could just be so bold. Can I ask you just one question; could I have just one dance?

I have longed for that one dance with him. A dance that I wished would have happened. A dance I wish will happen. A dance that I know will never ever happen.

I am *Morrish. I am 19 years old and I will be graduating from college from a well-renowned university here in the university belt on March 22. I am a virgin. Yes, from head to toe, I am one. But that is not what I mean to say. I am a virgin of saying the words: I love you… and goodbye.

I love you. These are the three words that I deem so sacred. It is an idea that has floated inside my head but it never had the chance to break free. They are the words that I have never spoken. They are the words that I treasured so much because of its profound meaning. I want to utter it in front of the right person during the right moment. I want to be sure because it is not in my character to just say those words to someone just to impress her or to satisfy her need to know that I really do love her.

Saying goodbye, on the other hand, is as difficult as dividing a lumber of wood into two pieces. It is easier to say, “Bye!, TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)!, Till we meet again.” But to say goodbye, I find it so hard. Just hearing the word tears my heart apart. I remember so vividly that day when I wanted to say goodbye. But I never had the chance to state it. It was the burial of a great man. A man I know is one of the reasons why I am living; why I was given a chance to explore life. He was my father.

His death was because of his heart. It was not as strong as it was before when he was still young and playing his favourite sport, basketball. It has lost its vitality and has struggled to continue pumping blood. It would ache terribly. The pain was too strong. It cannot be tamed. It stopped. There were no more sounds. It was just the sound of a person’s last breath.

I was still very young. I was innocent, in fact. I was unable to walk and unable to run. But I was able to hear though, unable to speak. I only had feelings that I can express through a cry. It was a cry that meant sadness and pain. It was a cry that I wanted the whole world to heed and understand. However, for many it was just a cry; a cry from a hungry innocent child who just lost his father.

Father… oh how I wish I could call someone like that. Father…Father…Father…

The eagerness that I have to call someone ‘father’ is far stronger than my eagerness to say the words: I love you and goodbye. It is true. Never had my lips opened and spouted out neither those three words nor that two syllable word. It is not that I have a phobia from them. It is not that I am mute. It is not that I have a lock jaw. It is not because I have a cleft palette. It is just that the right time never came even though the person I deem so perfect for me was there, standing, smiling, glancing, as he says the word, “Hi!”

“Hi!” It was the same word that began my past relationships with Kathe, Debz, and Ija. Oh how I fondly called them by their names even when we were already in a relationship. Never did I call them those couple nicknames like honey, babe, hubby, love, or whatever couple nickname one might think of. Maybe it was one of the reasons why we broke up. But, besides that, they told me that my inability to say “I love you” prompted them to break up with me. Was I wrong for not saying those words? Is it really the only words that would express one’s love and affection to his/her partner?

Now, it has been five years and I have been single for a very long time. Single, oh how I wish I was never one anymore. Especially, when I met him a few years ago when I was still a college freshman.

He was an upperclassman. Many admired him not just for his looks but also for his brains. The only problem was he was a sloth. He would flunk most of his minor subjects. And that was the reason why we met.

It was an English class. We were seatmates. His surname began with an E while mine with an F. We never really noticed each other until the second week came. We were partners for the whole semester, for quizzes, for home works, for activities, but not in the major examinations.  He had fair skin; baby face, if I may say so. His scent was a mixture of peppermint and chocolate. He had a medium-sized body, not too thin, not too fat. He was just right. He was gorgeous.

Weeks pass by and little did we know that we were becoming closer than before. We shared stories about our families, about our childhood, about our friends, about our past relationships, and a lot more. We would tease each other incessantly like there were no other people around us. I remembered our teacher scolded us once because we were too noisy in class. This continued until the semester was nearing to its end. The thought of losing a friend came into my mind. He was one of my first friends in college. I did not want to say goodbye.

Until one day, he came up to me and offered a proposal. “Let’s be roommates,” he said. And I answered with just a nod. Now, I didn’t have to say goodbye to him anymore. Later did I know, it would be harder to say goodbye to him in the end.

Years rolled by, he was already going to graduate. And I still have one academic school year to finish. He considered me as his younger brother. But I wanted to be more than just friends, to be more than just a brother. I wanted to be his lover.

photo by: google pics

Time began to expire, and it is only a few more belly shakes before he reaches his commencement rites. Their course mates prepared a ball as a send off party to them seniors. No one was allowed to bring a date; just friends. I was invited. That night, I wanted to profess my love. I wanted him to know. I wanted to know what he feels. I just wanted to say those words that I have longed to say. But it did not matter. Later that night, he divulged that he and Julia are already in a relationship. Julia finally said yes to him. I did not know he was courting somebody. I did not know he loved somebody. Why didn’t he tell me?

The song by Steven Bishop played. They went off and danced in the dance floor. They were happy. I can tell. They had those twinkle in their eyes. Their smiles lasted and they never faded. I was broken. I had a broken heart. I left. I left without any trace.

I left our room. I transferred to a farther dormitory. We ended our communication. I am now content. Am I happy? I do not know.

All I know is it was something special for me. Until now, I wished it never ended.

I still have dreams of him and I together. We are alone. We are happy together, just the two of us. But still, there is no closure. The longer I try to say I don’t love him anymore, the longer my feelings for him become stronger. It hurts so badly. It is as if I was feeling my father’s pain when he was about to die. It can’t be contained.

photo by: google pics

If only I had the strength to say I love you to him. Then maybe, now, I am stronger. Then maybe, I am now courageous.  Then maybe I am now a virgin no more. No more of the virgin who cannot say the words I love you and goodbye.

Now, here I am, sitting in this old wooden chair saying to myself: “  Just one dance… just one dance. Your eyes laid on mine. Your arms wrapped around me. All my heart and soul are ready for yours to take. Our song sways our bodies to its rhythm and makes us float in the air like feathers. And we minded no one not even time. But in this one dance, in which I pretended you were all mine, it was all just a dream. So, if I could just have the strength. So, if I could just be so bold. Can I ask you just one question; could I have just one dance?—Anthony Nash O. De Leon

Phone calls and short conversations

Three years ago, I wrote an article about him as a Christmas present. An article which I thought would be the last one. But then, here I am again today, writing about him because he was the first person I thought when we are asked to write about the person whom we can’t say goodbye. Here I am again, writing all my sentiments about him, how I miss him dearly, and how I would give everything to turn back our times.
I mean, how would I say goodbye to my first love when he is the last person whom I wanted to bid my farewell. To the one who made my dull and forgettable high school life one hell of a roller coaster ride. To the one who has been my living diary that constantly listens to my rants, my clown that wipes my tears off my eyes and made them happy, my mirror that shows the real me, and , of course, my best friend who has been there for me in my most stupidest moments.
We had memories together in that old ice cream house as we share our favorite flavors of ice creams. During those times, we would not notice how hard the rain was or scorching the heat of the sun. We would not notice that it was past my 6pm curfew or when it was time for us to go home.
Ours was the time when I wait for him till his basketball practice was over, when he waits for me outside our room, when we go for a carousel ride in Cubao, and when we go finding our friend’s house till we realized that we are lost.
I remember how I went to his house after class just to see him for the last time. I made a very long letter in a crumpled yellow paper, in between my English class, with my pitiful penmanship carefully scribbling the things that I wanted to say eversince high school, while I silently get my handkerchief and wipe my hot tears that ran in my face.
And then when we saw each other, we bid our farewells and promises of keeping in touch. We exchange memorabilia, and talked of the things that we should do if we’ll meet again ten years from then on.
I would never forget that moment that made me realized that I really can’t say my goodbye.
He was not really the one that got away. In the first place, he was not really mine. He just have to go far, be with his family, and fulfill his mother’s wishes of him. We’re plain old friends and I know that. It’s just that there’s a part of me that hopes someday, if we’ll meet again, we’ll be the same old friends back when we were just those naughty teenagers trying to escape the pressure our family and our studies bring.
Though he is miles apart from me now, though we had our own memories together way back in high school, I know it will never be the same again.
But today, we keep our promises with each other—and that is to keep in touch despite our very busy schedule. He calls me on special occasions and during times when I just wanted to talk with him. He would call in between his duty at work, silently escaping his boss’ demands. He called to inform me about his new car which he has to pay, his plan to enroll in few subjects next semester, and his plan to save in order to have a vacation here.
We still have our short conversations while we are growing as the individuals we have dreamt to be. We are growing separately but dream as one, share experiences together– though we are walled with distance and all the internet connection disruption. The times when we just say hello to each other online. Or when something popped in my mind, I’ll message him to call or to answer my e-mails. I would comment on his latest photo showing his growing fat body while he mock my thin body and curly hair and we’ll talk about it on the phone like kids teasing each other in a playground.
I am happy that even now, he still knows me. I let him know of my undertakings, from my college activities, my family, my love life and everything in between.
Truly, I really can’t say my goodbye. Because I know that it would be very painful. It is not about moving on or letting go but a matter of waiting until he comes again. Until that time, I’ll keep on waiting for him to come back.

Martyr Nyebera

Each one of us has that special someone that no matter how many times we tried to let that person go, we just can’t. Because every time we try to do so, it keeps on breaking our hearts.  That special someone can make you the happiest person in the whole entire universe, and at the same time, makes you the saddest man alive during tough times.  He/she is your life, but sometimes, you are at your best, without that person.

It’s been 7 years since I’ve known this guy; he is my crush, my inspiration, my first love, and my boyfriend. Just like any other girls, I admired this guy because of his looks, perfect eyes, and kissable lips. But as I have known him even more, I started to love his character as a person; I can see how much he value his family, how close he is to God despite his “maangas” looks, and how he makes sure that I’m secured all the time. In short, I fell in love deeply with this guy.

For those 7 years of knowing each other, we already encountered a lot of difficulties, and I believe that it is because of immaturity. But when we reached college, everything is smooth, as if it was the perfect timing for the both of us never imagine that our relationship will be more complicated, and challenging.

He has his ego, I have my pride. He has that strict personality, I also have mine. We have almost the same characteristic that’s why we can’t help but to always argue even the smallest things. Like what other people said, in finding a perfect partner he/she should be the opposite you. But that’s different compared to my situation, but what’s good about us is we still manage to work things out.

 

 

What exactly made me think if it’s time to give up is about me, being taken for granted by him most especially when we’re having misunderstandings. I don’t know, but there are certain instances when I just felt like being ignored.

 

 

FYI:  I’m very sensitive; I don’t want to feel like being worthless to a person whom I’ve been showing my love and care.

Some of my friends told me to leave him that I should not just focus mylife to him, there’s more to come, besides, I’m still young. They also added that because of him, I don’t have enough time for my friends, and for myself. But I just can’t, it’s not that easy. It’s hard to say goodbye to a person who has been your happiness for years, maybe they would just understand when they already experience this kind of feeling when you already found your true love. Yes, I considered him as my true love, my first and one true love.

Our relationship might be weird, and many people might not understand our rules and regulations as a couple. But for me, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me, you might not know, you might ask me why. When you’re in love, you are willing to take risks, and even accept that person even if he is at his worst. Instead of thinking negative things, I learned how to appreciate, appreciate the fact that I learned how to love, and also be love in returned. We might have differences, and fight like a married couple, but that’s relationship is all about. For now, I can’t say goodbye to him, and I can’t imagine doing that in the near future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdrqaYIB9uI

“I got the title of my article from this song of Kamikazee, I just think it fits us and I can somehow relate my self to this” :))))) Hope you find time to listen and watch the video:)

Cotton Candy: Inside a Father’s Heart

The noblest profession in the world is motherhood. Nothing beats a mother’s love. It is second in greatness to God’s unconditional love for men. A happy family cannot be complete without the presence of mothers. But motherhood or being a mother is not boxed in being a woman and literally bearing a child alone. How about those families with fathers as both parents? Those families who rely motherhood on their patriarchs?

Mhar, 49, proves that fathers can be nurturing to their children, too.

Macario or Mhar is a 49 year-old single parent with two daughters studying at University of the East – Manila. He became a single parent when he got separated from his wife, Malou. His daughters lived with him after they run away from his ex-wife. “I thought that when I and my wife got separated, she would take care of our daughters but it became the total opposite. Malou’s grudge for me was passed on to our daughters. They were abused with hurtful words. They were even locked up all day inside the house.” Mhar was courageous enough to narrate what happened. One day, Denise, one of his daughters, called Mhar up saying that they could no longer take the situation. They planned how to escape from the house and fortunately, they were successful.

Since then, Mhar assured his daughters that they will never get hurt by anybody especially their mother. He was also kind not to sue his wife despite what happened because it was his daughter’s request and he respects their decision. He began to learn how to stand up as both a father and a mother. In the later years, he became more of a mother because he was not afraid to cook, do the laundry, iron clothes, and even buy toiletries for his daughters.

Denise is proud of his Papa because of his dedication as a provider and a loving parent. “Papa works everyday including Sundays. His only rest day was Christmas and New Year’s Day.” Denise revealed during the interview. “He was a foreman in a construction site so his time should be well-adjusted for us to meet at least every night before going to sleep. I’m glad that he still has time to bond with us and check on us even if he is tired from work. “, she added.

Mhar ’s daughters wish that God could give the three of them more time together. Still, they understand that their Papa needs to work hard for their future.  Mhar’s unconditional love for his daughters signifies what a parent is willing to sacrifice for his children. If he will be given a chance to have another persona, he would rather choose his present self because of his daughters.

No gender could be a measure of motherhood – of how to be a mother. Motherhood is not seen physically. You do not have to be a woman or conceive a child. You do not even have to be a woman at all. For as long as your love for your children is present and you are willing to sacrifice for their benefit, motherhood is in your midst. Mhar had proven that even fathers have their own version of motherhood. Fathers might maintain their tough personality but their hearts remains like cotton candies only for their angels – their child.

 

Image Sources:

http://www.google.com.ph/search?hl=tl&sugexp=frgbld&gs_nf=1&cp=11&gs_id=1u&xhr=t&q=cotton+candy+ro&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1024&bih=677&um=1&

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=construction+foreman&num=10&um=1&hl=tl&biw=1024&bih=634&tbm=isch&tbnid=XCu9Uu5QiuaEzM:&imgrefurl=http://www.elcivics.com/esl-employment.html&docid=ZSP2Y8oczVqVBM&imgurl=http://www.elcivics.com/foreman-jobsite.jpg&w=370&h=245&ei=kAxnT6HJLeKwiQfJq8mdBQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=142&sig=113046509622529736351&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=136&tbnw=181&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&tx=134&ty=41

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=cotton+candy+hearts&um=1&hl=tl&biw=1024&bih=677&tbm=isch&tbnid=MWwDn1PINz9XBM:&imgrefurl=http://freewallpapers4desktop.com/view/pink_cotton_candy_heart_cloud_sky-1280×800.html&docid=kgl6W-hz_MP94M&imgurl=http://freewallpapers4desktop.com/wallpapers/pink_cotton_candy_heart_cloud_sky-1280×800.jpg&w=1280&h=800&ei=3QtnT9O4FcqeiAfDicHmBQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=435&vpy=296&dur=72&hovh=177&hovw=284&tx=166&ty=81&sig=113046509622529736351&page=1&tbnh=123&tbnw=197&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0

bata 1: wala ka sa nanay ko, ang nanay ko magaling magluto ng cake
bata 2: mas magaling nanay ko kasi sya nagluluto ng cake at spaghetti tuwing birthday ko
bata 3: ang tatamad naman ng nanay nyo, ang nanay ko kayang gawin lahat ng nyan habang kumakanta
bata 1: panno?
bata 3: eh di ibubuka nya lang labi nya para kumanta helloo!!
bata 1 and 2: nyeee

well most of us claim that they mom were the best ( we have our own biases haha) but somehow their traits and attitudes depend on their mood. Depending on how we obey them and how we show our respect to them. but never the less we all love our mothers. well let me tell you about my mom, My mama’s name is Ma. Teresa Germino Sadsad she is a SPED teacher in Josefabella Memorial School for about 22 years, 51 years old, during weekdays she teach from 8 in the morning up to 3 pm but on weekends she usually spend her day in our church but sometimes we do groceries (that’s our bonding time buying stuff for our home talking to each other, but most of the time we tell jokes to each other) she’s a working mom but she always find time to ask us, on how are things in school and in my church activities, she can even tell if I’m having a hard day, she was my mom, my friend and drinking buddy.

She was very jolly, she always find good things in bad moments, she collects stamps, currencies from different countries and lately she start collecting candles too she has many friends, there are times when an old lady approach me and asks “ikaw ba yung anak ni thess?” I just smiled and say yes. even she’s busy in many things still she find time for herself ( i womnder how she do it?). We even have drinking times even if there’s no special moments to celebrate, it was funny because there are mothers who don’t allow there daughter’s to drink liquor. She was very supportive for the four of us siblings.

She is a very strong woman she managed to raise us four kids (my dad works abroad so most of the time, so my mom look for us) we always feel the love we need and care. Though sometimes we hear her load mouth scolding us but it was for our good. For me my mom is still the best and coolest mom.

Thank you Mama for everything that you did for us I LOVE YOU NG BIGTIME.

It’s Her time. My mom’s time

Count those days, months and years that she carry me whenever I cry, give me milk until I fell asleep. From those sleepless nights that she sacrifice inorder to change me whenever I pee from my diaper and until now on my 18th year of existence my mother is still their showing her unending love, care and comfort  us her children.

From childhhod to teeanage years it’s my time to return the love that my mother felt to us. For me discovering all the things that my mom love most is the best way to let her feel my love, just like cooking her favorite dish which is pancit cabagan top with quail eggs-this delicay is made of fresh miki noodles served with toppings, quail eggs, mixed vegetables and served with chopped white onion, calamansi and soy sauce on a separate small bowl-and I learned how to cook this dish from her, whenever she cooks I’m always at her side and she taught me how to prepare it that’s why when she is craving for pancit cabagan I secretly go to the kitchen and prepare her favorite dish. I always surprised her and I want her to be happy with just simple thing I want to see her face smile even though she is tired from work. It’s a great moment to share time with your mom even just a minute I always give her time.

 

When I was a kid whenever my mom live us and go to Manila she always come back with a pasalubong- toys,dresses, shoes, etc. and now that I am here in Manila whenever the semestral break is approaching I always think what could be the best pasalubong that I will give to my mom sometimes I bought her dress, accesories, and her favorite buko pie which she always ask when I go back to the province and the most important gift that I gave to her is my presence.

Business woman that’s what I see my mother even though she is getting older she always strive hard to make money for us her children. My mother always go here in Manila every two months she visit us at the same time get off to divisoria-the cheapest yet great mall in this planet- to buy clothes, shoes, bags, etc. and sell it to the province, this is part of her busines. I always accompany her and after shopping all this things here I am again carrying a heavy sock of clothes, sandals and accesories I’m not shy when I carry these things even though many people stare at me what is important to me is that I helped my mom and make her glad that I am always here for her.

As days goes by I want to let my mom feel my love, In return I always care for her whatever happens. There are many things that I could do inorder to let her happy but what is important to me is to let every moment cherish with my mom. I could not ask anything for her and I thank God for giving me a mother like her.

Behind Glamour: Confessions of a working Mom

-Find out what this fashionista Mom has to reveal as she shares her tidbits of confessions about her role as a mother, as a friend, as a teacher, as a student and as a warrior. And how she manages to be calm and gorgeous despite her terribly hectic and crazy-paced schedule.

Its 12:30 in the afternoon when I arrived inside the faculty room of the College of Arts and Sciences. We’ve started our conversation through minutes of friendly banter before i fire away my questions which she answered with a poise of a professional and air of confidence.

                                                             Her Many lives

Ms. Rizaline Jacinto is one of the most famous professor in the University of the East-Manila, not only because of her friendly attitude but mainly because she’s been teaching in the university for over 30 years now. She teaches NSTP ( National Service Training Program) during Saturdays, she also teaches Filipino and law related courses.

While she had finished BS in Elementary Education in Philippine Normal University, Masters in Filipino in Centro Escolar University and BS in Laws here in UE, her love for knowledge did not stop. she is currently studying to be a Doctor in Education in the University Graduate school. But despite her loaded day, she still able to run a home. She cooks for her children, do the house keeping and dine with friends.

When asked how she start her day she motherly said, “ I start my day early. I cooked for my children yun talaga ang hindng hindi ko maiiwanan kailangan may food sila bago ako umalis at bago sila magtrabaho at mag aral. I love to cook for them alam nilang magagalit ako pag hindi sila kumain”.

As an educator at the same time mother with busy lifestyle, it is inevitable to get pressured and angry sometimes. “nagagalit din naman ako pero very seldom lang, kapag magulo at maingay sa classroom I just shut my mouth after saying, huwag niyo na akong hintaying magalit pero actually galit na ako nun”. she exclaimed with chuckle.

                                                                                                             Her mode of relaxing

Aside from staying beautiful and fit Ms. Rizalina also loves travelling, she said that their last vacation in Washington with her whole familay was the most memorable one. but She still looking forward to visit Europe particularly Paris. she also goeas to aerobics, in fact, she has been going to the aerobics with her faculty members.

” Mahilig ako mag exercise in fact dun sa 5th floor sa multi purpose hall nag start na yung aerobics eh so pumupunta kami dun to exercise”.

But unknown to many, her ultimate relaxing habit is very simple, that is to clean the entire house. “talagang pinaka stress reliever ko yang paglilinis ng bahay. kung para sa iba heavy task yan sa akin hindi“. she said.

                          Her greatest achievement in life

– Professor Jacinto consider raising her children and giving them proper education as her greatest achievement in life. In fact, she has one Dentist, three Engineers, One management graduate and one candidate for CPA board exam. “ talagang gusto ko ay mapagtapos silang lahat mahirap pero worth it naman, buti nalang i have my responsible husband with me.” She added.

Meanwhile, professor Rizalina’s husband is a retired contract worker who used to be an employee in a telecom company.

What other things that many people do not know about you?

” I love to make my own clothes, akala ng marami lagi akong bumibili, pero the truth is I make my own clothes and design my own style. I buy din pero maong pants lang. meron akong catalog so, bumibili nalang ako ng tela.” she confessed.

Being a glamorous working mom, how do you define fashion?

“Fashion for me is not yung ano ang laging uso, dapat kung ano ang bagay. hindi naman talaga ako fashionista pero i have my taste and I know how to carry myself well”. she said.

                                               On being a true blooded warrior

Ms. Rizalina Jacinto admitted that she is a basketball fan, she loves the University Basketball team not only because they are basketball players but because they bear the name of Lualhati. UE means alot to her, she’s been in the university for the longest time. She learned to love not only the students, the UAAP the players, but most of all the university all in its own.

“ I find happiness here in UE kaya ako tumagal dito. Yes there were problems pero kahit saang company naman you will encounter problems they are part of it. But io find happiness and contentment here. I’m a proud warrior.

Ms. Rizalina Jacinto is truly a quintessential mom that you would like to have, faithful and hardworking. She may give a lot of credit to her faith and determination, but her passion and care to her job and children and drive to learn more have contributed a lot to her success.

Truly a mother at its best

She is a mother who never imagined to be away from home and be a teacher in a foreign land. She never even thought of teaching for it was never her profession. But because she wants to give her children a better life, she took that risk.

Estrella Fernandez, 39, a single parent from Quezon City, needs to work extra hard so that she could provide for her three children – Elaiza Marie (19), Jaren Marie (14), and Jazrell (5) . She and her husband got separated almost three years ago.

Estrella's daughters - Elaiza Marie (19), Jazrell (5), and Jaren Marie (14).

Instead of staying with her kids, Estrella decided to go abroad to fulfill her responsibility as a parent. She worked in Japan for 12 years and decided to transfer in South Korea.

“Nung 1996, nagtrabaho ako sa Japan. After 12 years, lumipat naman ako dito sa Korea. Bale almost three years na ako nagtatrabaho dito,” -(In 1996, I worked in Japan. After 12 years, I transferred here in Korea. I am working here for almost three years already,) Estrella said.

She decided to work in South Korea as a teacher. Even though she didn’t have much experience in teaching, she pursued it in a foreign land and applied in Iksan International College a year ago to teach English to children in pre-school.

The hardworking mom was once a factory supervisor in Korea for two years before she became a teacher. She transferred to a different job so that she could have higher salary.

“Mas mataas din kasi ang sinasahod ko dito kaya ito na rin ang napili kong trabaho,” (The salary here is higher that is why I chose to work here,) she shared.

During weekdays, she goes to school early in the morning, not missing a single day of teaching little children to speak English fluently. Being a kind-hearted and a sweet teacher, she treats her Korean students as her own.

Estrella said she always misses her children especially when she sees the pre-school students playing in the park with their parents. To overcome her homesickness, she’s always online 24 hours a day and seven days a week to make sure she could talk to them as much as she can.

“Nahihirapan ako magtrabaho in a way na I am away from my kids. Alam naman ng mga anak ko na ang ginagawa ko para sa kanila is for their best,” -(I find it hard to work in a way that I am away from my kids. I know that my daughters understand that what I am doing is for their best,)  she said.

Same goes with her daughters, the eldest, Elaiza shared the moment when she misses her mom so much that she cried the whole day. She said that it was hard for them to be separated from their parents but they understand it completely. When she is online, she always find time to chat with her mom and share her problems and other sentiments that happened in school.

“There are times when I misses my mother so much. That is why I always open my Facebook account to chat with her. I admit that it is really hard to be away from our mom especially that she is the only parent we have. But I know it’s for our good,” Elaiza shared.

Estrella’s passion for her work as a teacher has helped a lot to support her family. She now earns enough to provide her children their needs and wants. But Estrella admits she still does not want to go back to the Philippines until they are not done yet with their studies.

Truly a mother at its best! Despite having to deal with life the hard way, Estrella said she will continue to persevere to become the best mother as well as a father. Teaching may not be her dream job, but for her, it is an opportunity to impart knowledge to her Korean students as well as to provide a brighter future to her young daughters.

I Love You BroD

REPUBLIC ACT NO. 8049 – An act regulating hazing and other form if initiation rites in fraternities, sororities, and other organizations and providing penalties therefore

Section 1. Hazing, as used in this Act, is an initiation rite or practice as a prerequisite for admission into membership in fraternity, sorority or organization by placing the recruit, neophyte or applicant in some embarrassing or humiliating situations such as forcing him to do menial, silly, foolish and other similar tasks or activities or otherwise subjecting him to physical or psychological suffering or injury.

In addition, hazing means infliction of unnecessary or excessive work in order to harass, an attempt to embarrass or disconcert by ridicule or persistent criticism, or the subjecting (of a freshman or fraternity pledge) to treatment intended to put in ridiculous or disconcerting position. Members who give ritual to a neophyte defends that it’s through hazing can they prove one’s endurance and thus achieves loyalty to the group.

Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago, however, said in a statement, that, “Republic Act No. 8049″, or the Anti-Hazing Law, must undergo a comprehensive review because it has failed to stop hazing within fraternities, sororities and student organizations since its enactment.

Some of the fraternities in the Philippines include:

Delta Sigma Phi Fraternity

Alpha Psi Omega

Alpha Mu Omega

Alpha Psi Omega (Ateneo de Manila), Delta Sigma Fraternity con Sorority (University of the East & Philippine College of Criminology), Delta Sigma Phi (University of the East & Philippine College of Criminology), Gamma Phi Sigma (University of the Philippines Diliman) and Alpha Mu Omega (De La Salle Araneta University)

     Fraternity from the Latin word frater which means “brother”, is a brotherhood, as the members usually say, of people at a college or university usually characterized by Greek letters.

     Brod as they call one another. No one gets away with them when you’re in trouble. Brothers will be brothers. Walang iwanan as they say, its like “till death do us part” of a couple. I may be soft spoken but I do have my own “BroD’s”. They are the ones whom I cannot ever forget. They are the ones whom I cannot betray. They are the ones whom I am willing to die for and they are the ones whom I cannot say goodbye.

MD4VB

     This fraternity has only two leaders and four members. We call this MD4VB, it was established in 1989 starting with only one member until 1992 when the 4^th member joined the group. Years ago, one of its founding members died because of cervical cancer. However, our fraternity has been stronger since then. We had our hard times but still we are intact and we love each other. No matter what happen, each and every one of us will stay in our minds and in our hearts.

MD4VB’s journey

Kape at Gatas

     Let me introduce you the founding members that we call our great leaders. These two lovely couples were so in love in their college days. They have been called “Kape’t gatas” because of their obvious different skin tone. They have been strict but never been harsh to the members. They have been so lovely and caring to the members. They’re the great leaders that we wished we could be with for the rest of our lives. But God has plans for us. We have already waived our goodbye to Ms. Pataray, but we still have Mr. Chocolaté so we continue with our lives after few months of being paralyzed because of her lose.

     The first member in MD4VB is “Boombastic”. I remember so vividly the day we got into a fight, I was playing with the other gangs one day afternoon, and then somebody bullied me and teased me. Bombastic saw what this kid was doing, and so he came to rescue and gave the kid a lesson he could not forget. After what happened he told me that I should tell him whenever there’s someone bullying me.

Boy Ismid

     Furthermore, the second member of the fraternity is “Boy Ismid”. He was called boy Ismid because he was so snob and never talked and mingle to anyone unless you’ll approach this guy. He was so out of this world because you can see him talk in front of the mirror while making faces. Hey, wait! That’s me! I am Boy Ismid.

     Moreover, the third member of our brotherhood is “COOLangot”. He got this funny name because he was always seen picking his nose, like there’s no tomorrow. This guy is so cool that he has been the campus crush even if he dressed like a hoodlum. He is one of the maangas among the group and most of the time picks up a fight. But still, we helped him win over his opponents.

     The fourth member is “Bratty”. Since he was the last member of our group, this guy was spoiled by our great leaders and never picks up a fight. This guy is also called the nerdy because he is also good in academics so nobody knows that he belongs to a fraternity.

Unveiling the MD4VB

     I just cannot express myself because I really cannot say goodbye anymore to these people. I have already given my final wave to my mother, and my heart can no longer take the time when I really have to say goodbye to them. My age maybe out of the calendar soon, but my love for these people will never be vanished no matter what happen and no matter how far we are from each other, I still love them.

brother on a wheelchair

     I remember few years ago, when my elder brother got into an accident. He never wanted us to know what happened to him because he doesn’t want us to see crying over him. He needed blood donation, which is why his wife called me and told me what happened. The time stopped and I couldn’t breathe. There were tears running on my face and all I can hear is my heartbeat, beating so fast.

     I told my younger brothers what happened to our kuya, and went to the hospital as soon as we can. We tried to be strong for him, but as soon as we saw him sitting on the wheel chair, his face full of bruises, blood were on her wife’s dress. We can no longer stop our emotions. He just said “Sorry, ayoko na sana kayong abalahin e, kaya lang kelangan ko ng lakas. Gusto ko kayo makita.” Good thing after several months, he recovered and he went back to work.

motorcycle accident

     Similarly, it was one lazy afternoon when my Dad just woke me up because there was no food ready for him, it was already 12 noon, but we just woke up. And so I told my younger brother (Prince) to go to the market because I have something else to do and he is the one assigned to go to the market. Since he has a driver’s license, he used the bike. An hour after, he was walking very slow and his hands on his head. He has an afro hair and so it looks like he’s just whining about his head ache or he was just joking.

     It was only when I came closer to him and saw blood on his shirt, ears, and hands. His head is really in hurt. He started sharing what happened to him on his way home. I stopped doing my homework, and get the medicine kit. I have to clean his wound to see if he needs a serious medical attention. I felt so guilty after what happened and so I took care of him and cooked for him.

my BroD's

     Everything happens for a reason. No matter what it was, it made our bond more intact. Fraternities may have kinds of hazing like paddling, slapping, tedious cleaning, weird clothing, food and servitude. But MD4VD has its own hazing, and with the kind of hazing that we had, we became stronger and braver. We became mature and open-minded. We learn how to love without a reason and appreciate little things. We became the man that we are today and we will become the leader that they want us to be.

I LOVE YOU BROD, or I Love You BROthers and Dad. I really just cannot say goodbye to you. One is enough, two is too much. I miss you Mom.

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Source: http://en.wikipilipinas.org/index.php?title=Fraternities_in_the_Philippines

 

Pictures retrieved from:

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=Delta+Sigma+Phi&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=FXV_b2bmq5-mYM:&imgrefurl=http://www.hpusigs.com/%3Fpage_id%3D2&docid=hOEKrJK4bIdxcM&imgurl=http://hpusigs.com/wp/wp-content/themes/dsp-seal.gif&w=293&h=276&ei=Zp9nT_z0IqvDmQWQiZXtCA&zoom=1

 

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=alpha+mu+omega+logo&hl=en&sa=X&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=y7i-73rcdCF6qM:&imgrefurl=http://alpha-mu-omega.tripod.com/&docid=qrx1nJq-VaERPM&imgurl=http://alpha-mu-omega.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/fraternity_logo.jpg&w=439&h=165&ei=dKJnT562Fu-KmQXotf2XCQ&zoom=1

 

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=motor+accident&start=6&num=10&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=__CZqnQgI5gw4M:&imgrefurl=http://www.allseriousaccidents.com/top-miami-law-firms-practice-areas/motorcycle-accident-lawyer-miami/&docid=Y_TLPQwfimYvsM&imgurl=http://www.allseriousaccidents.com/images/motorcycle_accident_law.jpg&w=350&h=250&ei=bKRnT9WKN8bxmAX31uiRCQ&zoom=1

 

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=brother+in+wheelchair&hl=en&sa=X&gbv=2&biw=716&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=iqxDYw5YB0fB0M:&imgrefurl=http://motodipoto.blogspot.com/2011/01/whee-style-chair.html&docid=m_HObuhYNoWKQM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BnCwOMRwcSY/TTQjUHZTnuI/AAAAAAAAA3s/oouIjvhC4fA/s1600/RESIZEEE.jpg&w=1067&h=1600&ei=7aJnT5qeFInJmQXKxaXqCA&zoom=1

HOW TO SURVIVE AN ANGRY MOMMA ATTACK!

Little Emelia

They say that God’s greatest gift to a mother is a child. For a child like me, my mother is the best blessing that He had given me from the very threshold of my existence.

More than 30 years ago, she was that provinciana from Pangasinan—pursuing her studies in Education while working as a part time assistant in a furniture shop.

Years after her graduation, she married and then gave birth to her two daughters, and settled to teaching elementary pupils.

She spent 25 years teaching pupils who are now successful in their own endeavours. In that years, she struggle with our father, working hard and doing all their best to meet both ends and send us to school

Today, she is three years close from her retirement, contented that she has a nurse as a daughter, and, uhm, me, a struggling college student trying hard to take home that diploma for her.

My mother said that when she was as young as me, she was very neat. Her curly hair is tidily squeezed in a bun or effortlessly falls in her shoulders. She wears long skirts, neatly polished shoes, and a friendly smile.

Obviously, I got this curly hair of mine from her. While she has that cute ringlet hair everybody adores, I have my long, curly, messy locks that have not been combed for months (the hairdresser advised me not to to). And so, I did not really get all that tidiness of her.

Though we have the same curly hair and all, I am different. I have this kind of boldness. I wear clothes unconventionally—those that are from my lola’s old cabinet, those I get from thrift shops, and even from old baby clothes.

Before I go to college, she would not let me get out of the house unless I wear what she wants me to—that of a terno blouse and pants, with matching pearl earrings and the like, that I have always disobey.

Now that I am in college, I wear whatever I want, as long as it still pleases my mother and my sister’s eyes. I hang out with friends till dawn, drink (which they do not know), and make the most out of my remaining college days.

I’m scared when I see her piercing eyes looking at mine that make me realize that I’ve done something wrong. I’m annoyed when she turns into a nagger and repeatedly says my mistakes in my face or when she keeps on reminding me to memorize the subject verb agreement. I don’t like it when she asks who’s texting me in the middle of the night, who’s calling me early in the morning or who am I with when I go out.

But then, I don’t loathe her for that. I love her even more instead. Because, as cliché as it may seem, I know, that my mother knows best.

What I like most about her is that she deeply understands. She understands why I go home at pre-dawn, why I attend the 7 o’clock worship instead of the mass in our church, my own belief of God, my abrupt decisions and careless attitude , why I don’t attend classes due to a mountain of responsibilities, and why I cry without explaining. That in spite these circumstances I am in right now, she knows that I know my own track. That she believes in my capability as an individual and she trusts the decision I made.

Just a week ago, one of my happiest moment happened. And that is having a conversation with her about love relationships and all. Before, that thing was like a taboo. But last week was different. She open-mindedly answered my questions and advised me what to do and what not.

I know that when I fail, she’ll always be there; sitting in a chair, doing her lesson plans for the next day, while patiently waiting for me to come home.

But that’s the thing I am mostly scared of—to fail and disappoint her.

For the past four years, I have been a headache. I was hospitalized that cost us into a large debt, I have this on-going student disciplinary case, I’m on a limbo, and I have an unstable health condition.

But really, I love my mother more. I may not always say those words to her but I see to it that I shower her with love. Whenever I come home, I would kiss her in the cheek, tell her how my week was, and hug her when I sleep.

My heart cries when I see her cry but it leaps with joy when she smiles. I know her sacrifices and because that, I’m doing my all to make it up to her and pay her back.

She gave birth to me, introduced me to the world, and served as my first teacher of life. She scolds me when I’m being disrespectful and even slapped me one time. She listens to my rants about schoolwork and Dawn, laughs at my crazy jokes at home, uplifts me when I’m down and believes in my dreams.

She’s my strength, my light and my life and I’ll never be what I am right now if not for her.

I am now 20 – more matured and responsible in life. But still, I know that I am still her baby girl with that curly hair. Because through this curly hair of mine, I know, and I’m proud, that I am my mother’s daughter.

“Tween” Mom

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

This is true, everything will change when you became a mother, I don’t know the feeling, but for some it is something that will make you feel as if everything is fresh and perfect.  But what if you become a mother at an early age? Are you ready to act like a matured one? How would you be able to survive all the responsibilities? Are you brave enough to face all the consequences?

Marian, 18 years old, a fine arts student from Technological Institue of 
the Philippines, is already a mother at a very young age. It was 2 years ago when she bear a very beautiful bouncing baby girl name “Cassandra”.

“Mag 16 ako nung nabuntis ako, siyempre natakot ako, naguluhan, nanghinayang. Pero andiyan na yan eh, hindi ko inisip na ipalaglag iyong bata kasi mahal ko iyong tatay, ginusto ko din yung nangyari eh. At siyempre anak ko to, papanindigan ko.” Marian said.

 

 

While she was pregnant at that time, she’s also studying and according to her, she doesn’t care whether people might judge her, or criticize her situation. Because for Marian, her baby is a blessing and as long as the father is willing to take his responsibility, there’s no reason to be ashamed.

 

July 9, 2010 is the most unforgettable day for Marian. It was the moment when she first saw her lovely angel.

 

“Sobrang saya ko nung nakita ko siya, parang lahat ng sakit at pagod, naging worth it nung mga sandaling iyon. Iba talaga eh, parang pakiramdam ko sobrang nag-matured na agad ako. Parang gusto ko lahat ng gagawin ko para sa kanya lang, at siyempre nung nakita ko din si Pilo (her boyfriend) na sobrang supportive, at Masaya din. Wala na talaga akong mahihiling pa.” She explains.

Marian is very happy on that year, she said that she has a complete family, and also her parents are very supportive, even though sometimes she felt guilty.”Nagpapasalamat ako kasi sila yung gumagastos ng mga kailangan ni Cassey, wala akong trabaho, wala din si Pilo plus pinag-aral ako ulit. Parehas pa din kaming umaasa sa magulang namin. Minsan siyempre, may maririnig kang di maganda, may masasabi sila, at naiintindihan ko naman yun.” She added.

 

According to Marian, it’s never an easy job to be a Mother at a very young age, there were times when she’s too busy for her studies and then Cassey will get sick. She doesn’t know what to do, she can’t help but not to attend her classes just to make sure that her daughter is fine. It’s a matter of balancing her time as a mother and at the same time, a student.

But what’s even worst is when she and Pilo decided to separate ways. Due to immaturity, and differences, they can no longer fix their relationship even just for Cassey’s sake. They’ve been trying to make things right, but it just didn’t work out.

“Naghiwalay kami hindi dahil may third party, siguro sobrang immature talaga kami maraming bagay kami na hindi mapagkasunduan. Para kasing hangang ngayon feeling nya buhay binata pa din siya, parang nakakalimutan niya na may anak na siya! “She explains.

According to Marian, she is trying her best to make things work, but nothing 
happens; she just experienced a lot of pains, and even rejections. “Ayoko ng broken family” Marian said.

After a couple of months, she started looking for a job to support her daughter’s needs. Marian cannot just leave all the expenses to her family, that’s why she applied in a call center to support also her studies.

“Wala eh, hindi na siya nagbibigay maski piso, sana huwag niya idamay iyong bata. Kami lang ang naghiwalay, tatay pa din siya ng anak ko. Sana naman alam niya kung ano responsibilidad niya” She added.

At a very young age, she already experienced a lot of difficulties, and she said that even though she can no longer experience to enjoy her life because of her responsibilities, still she has no regrets just lessons learned. She’s very happy because Cassandra gave her life a new direction, inspiration, and of course, new hope to face everything and anything that will come her way.

“ Kaya sa mga kabataan ngayon, sana huwag nila akong tularan, although wala akong pinagsisisihan. Iba pa din kasi kapag planado lahat ng bagay eh, mahirap yung biglaan. Tsaka, makinig sila sa payo ng magulang, hindi porket bata ka feeling mo lahat ng bagay makukuha mo ng ganun ganun lang, na ang buhay parang puro saya lang? Hindi dapat ganun.” She ended.

She also said that she’s not closing her doors for the right man of her life, but as of the moment, she wants to focus first in her studies and work. She promise to graduate in college to make her parents proud, and also for Cassandra.

Marian's work. (Dreaming to graduate someday for her daugher, Cassandra)

To be a Mother is the most precious experience whether you’re too young or old, the fact that you bear a beautiful angel all the hardships will be paid off.  I might not know it yet, but definitely soon, at the right time, when all is well I will understand what it is to be a Mother.

Outside Her Skirt

“Anak, kamusta pag-aaral mo? Nakasagot ka naman ba sa teacher mo? Nagpakabait ka naman ba? Baka mamaya niyan, sumugod dito ang teacher mo o ang nanay ng classmate mo dahil may ginawa ka na namang kalokohan. O siya, sige na! Gawin mo na agad ang homeworks mo nang makapagpahinga ka ng maaga.”

This was the message I always heard from my mother every time I came home from school during my grade school days. The same kind of conversation motivated me when I entered high school. And this continued to encourage me until now, as a graduating college student of this university.

Truly, it was a very heartwarming experience on my part to be a son of a compassionate woman, who believes in my capabilities and from time to time drives me to do the thing that she knows I could be successful doing it. She trusted me so much. If you will dare her to rate it from one to ten, she will absolutely answer 11 or more than that. She never fails to support me. She is consistently at my back, ready to grab my shoulders when I could no longer hold on. How lucky am I to have such mom, who has a goal of molding me to become a better and independent individual.

She as ILAW NG TAHANAN…

Meet the most gorgeous woman in my life, she is my mother and her name is Elvira Contemprato Cruz, and I called her “Nanay.” She is now 47 years old and currently working as a canteen cashier in a private school in Pasig City. Aside from doing the laundries, ironing the clothes, cooking our daily meals, just like other cool moms out there, my mom is one of a kind. She hangs out with her friends twice a month and always has a time for us, her children. She often gives us a treat every week. It can either be a lunch in nearby restaurants or a movie marathon in malls. Every Sunday, she pleases us to go to church and altogether pray for the Lord’s blessings. After that, our family will go shopping or have a trip in parks. She always sees to it that our family has a whole day to bond, relax, and enjoy.

She as my PERSONAL MENTOR…

Way back 9 years ago, I remember the time when my mother habitually looks after me. Before I play outside, she makes sure that I finished first my home works. She never forgets to give me instructions in anything that I will do. Once in a while, she was the one answering the questions in my assignments and I will just copy and study it as if I did it on my own. It’s just like she is the directress of the film which I am the protagonist. She is the captain of my ship. She forced me to join contests even though I don’t have the confidence and the qualifications not fit for me. She demands me to maintain my good grades, and if I fail doing it, make sure I’m ready to absorb her punishment. Yes! You heard it right.  Then this horrifying practice prolonged my high school existence pending this present time. I couldn’t forget such experiences with that kind of a mother on my side. But, I can proudly say that it’s definitely a pleasure not a pressure.

She as my IDEAL BESTFRIEND…

With those qualities that my mother has had, she is also my best-friend. Maybe some of you are not aware that I belonged to a group of people who don’t have a best friend. Some called us introverts, or EMO. But, we aren’t. I just prefer to be alone and stay in a place where no one can see me, where no one can know me. I have a lot of friends actually, but none of them has reached the level of friendship my mom and I have had. If you think that I treat you as my best-friend, friend, then go! If you realize that we are close pals, okay! But like what I said earlier, I don’t have a best-friend other than my mom. If you wish to know me more, my mom is the exact person to talk to. My mother is the only person in the world I can trust whole-heartedly. She knows all my secrets about my crush, exes, and present loved one, ones. She knows who are my friends are, even though she hasn’t meet them.

Perhaps you are wondering the stress you could get from that character of a parent; it is not like that for me anyway. With the way my mother molded me as a contingent young man to an independent person now is somehow a lesson for each one of us to understand.

Let’s take those words as an inspiration to persevere and be successful. Look at me now! I am a fulfilling scholar of this university, and hopefully soon to have a latin honor in our graduation day. From a normal A.B. Journalism undergraduate to a student with discounted tuition fees, is such a remarkable and hardworking goal that I pursued. I can now stand on my own feet. I can manage things better than I do so before.

With all my downfalls and uprisings, I can say that I am now more determined, wise, enduring, diligent and emotionally careful in every task that I will do.  Also with that awful but principled experience, I learned to provoke myself to start something favorable for others other than me. I realized that behind hardships there is always a worthy outcome. Everything I gained at this moment, like knowledge, fame, trust, is all for my mother. Without her on my side,  there couldn’t be an “Alfrick Cruz” today, an INDEPENDENT ONE. Thanks to her. Thank you Nanay!

Nanay ko!

Cruz Family

Coffee Please

(Photo courtesy of Google pics)

When I was just a teen, my mom always makes me a coffee – in a medium size mug – before I go to school. That coffee has aided me to be not drowsy as I prepare myself in facing another day and also in facing the challenges of life.

The coffee that my mom always prepared for me every morning is a sweet black coffee, but sometimes with cream when I insist. I enjoy drinking it with eating a couple of pandesal.

As I grew up, I managed to make my own coffee. I tried to imitate my mom’s style of blending coffee but I failed to do it. I stop copying her style as the time goes by, particularly when the time that I begun to like the taste of my own (made) coffee, which is composed of three teaspoon of sugar and one teaspoon of coffee that are put together on mug which is filled of hot water. I cannot tell you about the brand of that coffee because this article may sound advertorial if I do so.

Furthermore, my mom now seldom prepares me a coffee. She always insists and stress to me that I’m a full-grown man and I should be capable in doing things on my own, but sometimes I managed to convince her to make one for me by my ‘paawa effect’ acting.

Unfortunately, I experienced having a hard time in getting sleep at night, maybe, because of the high volume of coffee that I drink each day. I used to drink another mug of black coffee (sometimes with cream) in late afternoon – particularly when the time I get home after school. Because of what happened, my mom advised me to stop drinking coffee in the afternoon. And so I heed her advice, I stopped drinking coffee and instead I now drink a hot chocolate as my afternoon beverage. I can now sleep at night easily, but I have a hard time doing it sometimes, mostly, when my mind could not stop thinking – such as thinking happy or awful moments that recently happened during daytime.

(Photo courtesyo of Google pics)

Honestly, I miss the times when my mom was treating me as a little child. I missed my grade school days when she was assisting me in doing my homework. But I know that she do not have to do that for me anymore. I know that I should act as men now and not as a boy anymore. I feel and I’m sure that I still have her support in every task that I’m doing. Actually, she got excited a several months ago when I told her that I have the chance to graduate college this present school semester. Her smile was different in that time, it was bigger and there was a spark on her eyes, as she told me that I can make it if I will give my best. I was inspired after that moment. I know I have to give my best shot to not disappoint her. I’m going to do everything to grab that college diploma for her. Black coffee has been a source of courage and strength for me, because of the adage (a saying), which says; a guy becomes tougher when he drinks a pure black coffee. And so I drink it to help me in achieving my goal.

(Photo courtesy of Google pics)

I really want to give that diploma for her, to make her happy, and to reward all her hardships in taking care of us; my five older siblings, my dad and my four nephews as well. She is now a senior citizen, and I’m getting weary about her health. I told her to not do a lot of house chore, but she refuses to stop, and said to me that she will only get bored if she will just sit and watch the time flies by. She also stressed to me that she are still strong – still strong enough to go to market everyday (to buy and cook food for us) and to go to church every Sunday. I cannot argue with it but to accept her decision. I also know that she is still capable in doing those things. Maybe I’m just scared that she gets injured by an accident. I think it’s the downside of drinking coffee; you get too nervous about things or matters that you are not even sure if it will happen. I prayed that nothing bad happens to her; I put my trust to God.

(photo courtesy of google pics)

As she grows older, I promised to love her, to take care for her, to watch over her, to give time and visit her even if soon that I’ll have my own family. I know that in months or just a year to come, I’m going to be the one who will now serve her a coffee. But for the meantime, I’ll take this moment to say I love her and to express how thankful I am for having her in my life – thank you so much mom, I love you.

A photo feauturing me and my mom which was taken in May 5, 1987 at my grandfather's house in South Caloocan. I was just seven months old in that time.

“Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. “ – Proverbs 23:22